This is the perfect time for me to pull out the tissues hidden in the pocket of my black yoga pants. I spent an hour on the Internet this morning researching how to prevent tears and nothing seems to work. I am the mother who cries while reading my child’s bedtime stories, the mother who takes a picture of everything and anything involving her little ones, the mother who makes motherhood her full-time career, and the mother you can find wearing the oversized sunglasses to hide her tear-filled eyes as she drops her not-so-little, little one off to school for the first time.
When our son was born, my husband and I would lie in bed at night, looking at precious pictures from earlier that day and talking about how we wanted him to stay small and sweet forever. Why does the thought of your first child starting school pull so hard on your heartstrings? I hear from more seasoned mothers that the start of the school year is a time to rejoice! I have laughed out loud at a few memes comparing emotional first-time school moms, like myself, to moms with older children. Perhaps one day I will relate more to the enthusiastic mother speeding off in the minivan with a huge smile on her face, but right now all I want to do is hold my little man and reminisce on the wonderful times we have had over the past few years. Can I just keep him home? Does he really have to go to school? I know he would rather bake blueberry muffins, watch Moana on repeat and have park dates with just his mommy. At least, that’s what he has been telling me all summer!
He always tells me I am his best friend, and I know this is the first stepping-stone in life where his total dependence on Mommy starts to slowly wither away. I would do anything to slow down time or press the rewind button, reliving the moments when he first learned to say my name, when he was nursing, when he took his first steps as I screamed and cheered like we had just won the Lottery, and even yesterday when he told me how much he was going to miss me everyday when he is at school. These are the moments in life when I realize there truly is nothing more valuable and precious than time. In the grand scheme of life, this is just another week. I understand that motherhood involves lots of happy tears as your children hit new milestones, but I don’t feel completely ready for all of this. I’ve talked to a number of moms about this topic and they can all agree that no matter how seasoned of a mother you are, whether it’s baby number one or baby number three, you are never fully prepared for the journey that lies ahead as you watch any of your children go from being mommy-obsessed little babies to more independent school-aged children.
Do you have a little one who started school this year, or are you a mother who has been through this transition multiple times? If so, how did you handle telling your child goodbye on their first day of school?
Love this! I’m a mother of 4 children of whom I’ve watched blossom into beautiful young adults/children. When summer was close to the end it made me realize I was going to miss them. I’m a working mother with a high schooler, two in middle school, & one in elementary. I found it hard and stressful sending them back knowing they were no longer in my car full time and I would have to trust a whole new group of people with my babies. Thank you for your post. I believe as we get older and have multiple kids we think we’ll be excited for them to go back; well that not the case here! I miss my kids so much and look forward to pick ups daily.