Finding the Lighter Side: Visiting Hospitals with Kids

This past week was a tough one. My plate was already full with my husband traveling and the kiddo home with me due to Spring Break. But of course, when it rains, it pours…midweek I got a call and learned that we had a very close family member that had to be rushed to the emergency room and admitted to the hospital.

As I played the role of solo mom and caretaker, fully absorbed in the immediate and possibly dire situation for my sick family member, I didn’t, at first, notice the impact that all of the tension was having on my daughter. The kiddo will turn four next month and she seems to be growing up so fast. I find that I sometimes, unknowingly, take advantage of her newfound independence. It can be easy to forget how much our kids are affected – by everything – when we aren’t looking.

Later that morning, about three hours (and a million hushed conversations) after I’d received the first call from the hospital, my daughter approached me and asked, in her most serious voice; “what would happen if the doctors couldn’t fix you?” Whoa. It was a question that I wasn’t at all prepared for. I realized that I needed to find a way to explain to her that she shouldn’t be afraid of being sick or having to go to a hospital. I wanted to make this situation easier for my daughter. In the heat of the moment, I wasn’t ready. But I quickly switched gears and found there were a few things that I could do to help my kiddo cope with her fears and feelings. When all was said and done, I found these things really helped us in this situation.

1)  Books / Starting a dialogue

Luckily we had some great books that were perfect for this moment. I searched our shelf and pulled out My Trip to the Hospital by Mercery Meyer and The Berenstain Bears Go to the Doctor by Stan Berenstain. My daughter and I snuggled up, read and then talked about hospitals and how they can help us. I asked the kiddo how she was feeling and then I answered a billion questions. By the end of it, she was laughing and coming up with all sorts of hilarious scenarios of her own. There’s a perfect book out there for just about anything, especially the subjects that might be a challenge to discuss.

2)  Gifts / Getting involved

Before our first hospital visit, we made a stop at the store. I was hoping to find a way to make the kiddo feel more involved. After all, she was just as worried about our family as the rest of us were and I thought it was important that she knew we recognized and appreciated how she felt. I let the kiddo pick out all sorts of fun snacks and treats to bring as get-well gifts. Thirty minutes later, we left the store with an assortment of drinks, chips, candy-bars, stickers, magazines and a keychain (though she ended up keeping the latter and drinking the chocolate milk) all of which she very proudly carried by herself. My daughter was now excited to see her family and share the love. And of course, this was also greatly appreciated by the patient. 😉

3)  Exploration / Feeling comfortable

I hadn’t taken into account all of the other patients we’d come across while walking through the halls, until we got to the hospital. Some patients smiled as we walked by and others we saw were in various states of bad to worse. I held my daughter’s hand tightly, but she seemed to take it all in stride. More than the patients, she was fascinated by the nurses and doctors with their colorful scrubs, stethoscopes, clamps and other paraphernalia clanging around them. When the kiddo tugged on my hand and pointed, I encouraged her to wave and say hello. At the nurses desk, I helped my daughter as she asked for the room and directions herself. I wanted her to interact and feel as comfortable as possible in this new and foreign environment.

Finally, we arrived to the hospital room. I waited for the nerves and hesitation to strike again. But the kiddo didn’t even blink. She ran up, gave hugs and immediately belted out an a cappella version of Let It Go (at the top of her lungs). After that, things were almost back to normal in my daughter’s world; she asked if she could press every button and then wanted to ride in the bed as it went up and down. Her initial anxiety and worries were nothing more than fleeting memory, replaced by positive curiosity.

Having a family member in the hospital is always a difficult experience. Unfortunately, sooner or later, almost every kid will experience this scenario. It can be easy to overlook, but even at the young age of four, my daughter was dealing with some pretty grownup feelings in a very grownup situation. I now know it was important for her to understand the truth and gravity of what was happening. But at the same time, there was no need for her to be terrified or to feel the entire weight of it on her shoulders, without at least having some coping mechanisms of her own.

Thankfully, our family member ended up being alright and able to leave the hospital a few days later. All situations are different and no matter what, a trip to the hospital (unless it’s for a new baby) isn’t fun. But we did learn a lot through this and, moving forward, I’ll always try to look for the positive and help the kiddo to focus on that as well. Check out Pinterest for some cool, unique and fun get-well gift ideas!

Sophia Olson is a writer (www.sophiamallonee.com), blogger for Mountain Buggy, professional retoucher, business manager, music lover, wife to a photographer, mother to a brilliant daughter (and two crazy dogs) and co-owner of 3Moms Ice Cream. You can often find Sophia on Facebook or Twitter, in her “cave” (aka office), the gym or running around after said daughter, dogs or any combination of the two. Sophia grew up in Gainesville, went to art school in California and met her husband in Manhattan. She’s now enjoying life by the beach.