I admit it. I lie to my son. Everyday. And will probably lie to my daughter when she’s old enough to be lied to.
I’m not talking about mean or hurtful lies, like if you don’t do your chores, we’re sending you away to live on a farm. I’m talking about your everyday little white lie that’s just meant to keep your day running smooth. And the lies you tell to your little one who may not be capable of processing the truth just yet.
I’m no expert on parenting. In fact, I’ve only been parenting for three and a half years, so I’m practically a beginner. But if I had to guess, every parent lies to his or her child. And if you say that’s something you would never do, well, you’re off to a good start.
“Sorry, the park is closed today.”
I think the “sorry, but such and such is closed” is a pretty common one. Don’t tell me you’ve NEVER told your child that the playground, McDonalds, or even the zoo, are closed (ugh, mom guilt, because how cute is it when your little one requests the zoo?). It’s not like that’s the immediate answer, but after your child repeats the word “park” for the 50th time, the lying comes easy.
OR, how about this? You’re actually at one of those places, having hours and hours of fun in the sun, sweating, with nothing to eat because you forgot to pack your own lunch so you’re sneaking pretzels out of the snack bag. You’ve given them the best morning/afternoon ever (you’re a great Mom!) and as you begin to say the words, “Alright it’s time to go-“ …he’s gone. All you hear is an echoed “NOOOOO” as he runs in the other direction. Now little sister is crying because she hasn’t napped, the sun is beating down on your face, and you are literally starving.
Ok, what the hell can I say to get this kid in the car? It’s time to be creative. It’s time to lie for your own selfish salvation and the health and well-being of everyone involved.
“If you don’t brush, the germs will eat your teeth.”
Yeah, I know, that’s gross. Sometimes when you are in the moment, your creative juices, aka desperation, start flowing. We’ve asked him 100 times nicely to brush his teeth with no response or acknowledgment and now those little legs are too fast for us to even catch! Think, think… germs! He thinks germs are bugs (thank you iPad app) so let’s just tell him this tonight to get the job done. We lied. He stopped, processed this idea of germs in his mouth, and agreed. Success.
If my child is a germaphobe in a few years, I will let you know.
“I don’t see a kitty. Oh, that sleeping kitty on the side of the road?”
Ok, now we’re getting serious. And I am only basing my experience of lying to my child, who is only three. He is not ready to understand heavy subjects like death and tragedy. So we explain it in a way appropriate to him, and more importantly so he does not have to deal with emotions he shouldn’t have to deal with yet.
I know this will not last forever. When he is seven or eight, he will want the truth, about everything. Santa, the Easter Bunny, his upside down goldfish, and where babies really come from.
Aside from the silly antics, I seriously hope these truths come easier than the lies, as lying to your child, whatever the situation, is tough (yes, even turning germs into scary little monsters gives me mom guilt). I know our “truth talks” will probably be more heartbreaking for me than him.
What are some creative lies you’ve told your children? How do you handle when the truth must be told?!?
The closet man will come and put them in the closet of they don’t start behaving in the restaurant. I pick out a poor innocent bus boy every time. Works like a charm. My mom used this tactic when I was little. You might say mean lie? I say family tradition:)
Kacey, this just cracked me up! Yes, family tradition! Haha
Oh my gosh – I love this post. I have had his debate with friends. What I struggle with is calling HIM out on lying. Like “did you do XYZ” and he says “yes” or “no” and it’s a lie. He has no idea what that means, you know? But yes, I totally say things like that – “the pool is closed” or whatever. It’s simple, works and I don’t lie about the big stuff.
So funny, Ashley. After I published this I asked Brendan something, and he flat out lied to me. And I said was that the truth or a fib? He said “fiv” and I was wishing I would have included that side of it. Next post! 🙂
This is great!
Too funny! I’ve been caught telling my kids that Chick-fil-a ran out of fries and Publix is out of free cookies 🙂
Maybe all of my lying is why Lyla doesn’t believe me when I tell her Chick Fil A is closed in Sunday.
We said “If you don’t brush your teeth, there will be bugs in your mouth when you wake up!” – gets him every time!
Haha! Love this! Whenever we go to the pool and it’s time to go, I tell the kids it’s about to rain (It’s Houston summer and almost always rains anyway). They HATE the rain so they hightail it out of there. I’ve been known to say that McDonald’s is out of ice cream, that Daddy took the ipad to work, and that we can’t watch XYZ show because Daddy took that to work too {It’s really b/c I’m too lazy to learn how to work the Roku}