I’m on to you, Starbucks. You too, Trader Joes. The calendar flips to September and you bring out the Fall foliage décor and your pumpkin flavored offerings.
Instagram is overflowing with PSL selfies. The shelves are stripped bare of pumpkin bars, pumpkin Joe Joe’s, pumpkin cereal and pumpkin donuts before they are even stocked. The general population has lost their collective minds over all the things PUMPKIN.
But I am on to you, you pumpkin peddlers.
Seasonal flavor profiling—how dare you? How dare you keep us waiting all year for such deliciousness? How dare you tell me that pumpkin only matters in the Fall? Pumpkin flavor matters year-round, Joe. So what if I want a pumpkin flavored latte in July? Sprinkle some extra nutmeg on there as well, I’m heading to the beach with my AC blasting, sipping my PSL. I might take a selfie while I’m at it.
Seasonal flavor profiling started subtly at first. Remember when it was only in the winter? Peppermint. Peppermint has it the worst. Candy cane mochas and ice cream and cream filled cookies. If you’ve never stood in line at Trader Joes to buy a box of peppermint Joe Joe’s, you haven’t lived.
But we, the consumers, are part of the problem. We mark our calendars for the first day we can order our triple grande non-fat no whip pumpkin spice latte. We harass the crewmembers at Trader Joes; “When will the shipment come in? Just between you and me? I really just need one more box. One more box of pumpkin bars and I’m done, I promise. They are for the kid’s lunch box, I swear!”
And so we blindly succumb to the seasonal flavor profiling forced upon us. We encourage it, actually. It’s time for action, my pumpkin loving friends. It’s time to demand PSL year round.
Last year, in an attempt to thwart our enthusiasm, certain haters decided to point out that there wasn’t ‘real pumpkin’ in the PSL. “The good news is that you can drink your daily required gallon of PSL! The bad news is that it’s actually ALL ARTIFICIAL FLAVORING. What do you think about that?!” To these haters I have two things to say:
1) I am about as crazy as they come about living all natural, organic and chemical-free. Do you know how many flying pumpkin loafs I give about the artificial flavoring? Exactly zero. Zero flying pumpkin loafs.
and
2) I can only assume you, in fact, have no soul. Who can say anything negative about the PSL?! It might hear you–don’t scare it away, for Pete’s sake! Winter will be here before you know it and the PUMPKINS WILL BE GONE.
But then Starbucks won my love and affection forever by changing their recipe to include real, that’s right, real pumpkin.
And now my year-round need for pumpkin is even greater. So please, for the love of pumpkin, stop with the seasonal flavor profiling. #PumpkinFlavorMatters #YearRound #YearRoundPumpkin
