The Truth about Fireworks (the Sexual Kind)


After becoming pregnant, Maria told her doctor she didn’t understand how it happened. “My husband always pulls out before he…you know.”

Maria and her husband are now the parents of a bouncing baby boy because of wrong information.

Here are the truths behind Maria’s and several other sex myths that you may have heard (and may even believe):

Myth: Penises are Indestructible

Truth: Penises can be broken. The trauma is usually related to aggressive or acrobatic sexual intercourse, aggressive masturbation, or walking into a table with an erect penis (yes, really). If a man fractures his penis he’ll know. It’s painful and makes a loud cracking sound. He should go to the doctor immediately.

Myth: Young People Have the Best Sex

Truth: Sex when you’re young may be more of an athletic event and your body parts may be less vulnerable to gravity but it doesn’t mean that sex at that time is the best there is. Sexually active older adults report having the most satisfying sex of their lives. Why? There tends to be more focus on sensuality, creativity, and emotional connection.

Myth: There is Something Wrong with Women who Don’t Climax During Sex.

Truth: How a woman reaches an orgasm has nothing to do with her mental health or emotional maturity. About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone — that is without the extra help of toys or hands. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances.

(Maria’s) Myth: “Pulling out” During Sex is Effective Birth Control.

Truth: Even if a man removes his penis from a vagina before climax, pregnancy can still happen. Pre-ejaculate can pick up enough sperm left in the urethra from a previous ejaculation to cause pregnancy.

Myth: If a Man Doesn’t have an Erection, He isn’t Enjoying Himself.

Truth: Foreplay does not require an erection, and the process of arousing the woman and turning her on can be very pleasurable in itself. Intimate moments where men are relieved of the idea that they have to perform can be a nice change.

Myth: Sex can Lead to Weight Loss.

Truth: While sex can be fun and breath-taking, it is not the high intensity cardio workout that will shed unwanted pounds.   Researchers estimate sex only burns about five calories a minute. Since the average encounter is less than 15 minutes, you’d need another type of exercise in your routine to achieve your goals.

Myth: Men and Women don’t Reach their Sexual “Peak” at the Same Time.

Truth: This one is actually true. However, the real truth is: you shouldn’t worry about it. Being comfortable with who you are, understanding your own body, having good communication, and remaining open to new experience are the keys to a satisfying sex life. Whether you’re at a “peak” or not is much less important than if you’re enjoying yourself.

Myth: There are No Exercises that Can Improve Sex.

Truth: Kegel (rhymes with bagel) exercises have sexual benefits for women and men. Kegels are recommended for women recovering from childbirth to strengthen their pelvic floor to help prevent health problems. However, they have a very exciting side-effect to the treatment: patients doing Kegel exercises regularly were achieving orgasm more easily, more frequently, and more intensely. Over time, men have reported that these exercises have helped in the bedroom as well. Kegels can help improve the strength of their erection, circulation and have been used for decades as a standard technique with erectile dysfunction concerns.

How do I do a Kegel?:

Imagine the muscle contraction it would require to stop urinating mid-stream. That’s a Kegel! Since no one can tell when you’re exercising your nether regions, you can do these exercises anywhere throughout the day – while brushing your teeth or every time you’re sitting at a red light.

Be sure to check out my other blogs in the JMB Talk Sex Series:

There is No Stork: Having the Real Sex Talk with Your Kids

The Truth About Having Sex After Having a Baby

Sexual CPR: How to Revive Intimacy in Your Long-Term Relationship

Is the Way You Feel About Your Body Harming Your Sex Life?


About the Author

20150126_143815Noelle Pomeroy, PhD, LMHC is a Clinical Sexologist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. She owns Jacksonville Center for Sexual Health located in Julington Creek area and Ponte Vedra Beach. Dr. Pomeroy lives in Mandarin with her husband and two daughters.



Twitter: @jaxsexualhealth



Thank you to Jacksonville Center for Sexual Health for sponsoring this post.





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