Birthday Dilemma: To Party, or Not to Party?

My son turned one last week. It was exciting and sweet, sad and fun, and a bit exhausting.

I say exhausting, because we had a birthday party for him.

Okay, we had a birthday party for us. One-year-olds don’t know what a party is.

My First, First Birthday Party

With our first baby, having a first birthday party was a no-brainer. I was home all day with Mattie and had lots of time to think, plan and look on the internet while she napped (and this was pre-Pinterest!) and she was (and is) our precious baby girl. Of course we had a first birthday party for her.  In our tiny house. With lots of friends and family. The theme was chocolate. She burned her finger on the lone candle (my fault) and screamed for most of the afternoon. (Plus it was the SEC championship and the Gators were playing. Clearly I did not plan that party well at all.)

I debated about having a one year old birthday party for my second child. Things that ran through my head:

Is that obnoxious? Do I look like I am gift grubbing? Where could we have it now that most of our friends have grown from families of three to families of four and five? What activities can the kids do during the party? Do I really want to spend money on this again? Do I really want to take the time to plan this on top of working and having two kids to take care of?

The final answer of course, was yes. Pinterest rocks for quick ideas for birthday parties in the 30 mins I had between getting the kids to sleep and passing out myself. Oriental Trading Company and Etsy were great for decorations and favors. I printed out a picture of a cake I found online and Edgewood Bakery recreated it perfectly. I found a place that offered space for free (we used their food) that had enough room to fit Spencer’s playgroup baby friends and mamas, our family, and a few long-time friends. I put “No gifts, please” on the invitation.

To Party, or Not to Party?

Every year I go through this birthday party dilemma. Other than Mattie’s first birthday party, for her birthday we’ve only done cupcakes at the park, or cake on Sunday afternoon for whatever neighborhood friends are around.  This is easy to get away with because she’s not been old enough to notice, and her birthday is always over Thanksgiving vacation, and no one is home anyway.

But now that Mattie is old enough to ask for a birthday party, it’s harder to make a decision. This year she turned five, and because we welcomed her brother six months earlier, and it is her last year at her preschool with her friends, we decided to have a party for her.

I’m not sure we will have a party again when she turns six, even though she’s already asked for a Tea Party, a Frozen Party, and a Jasmine Party. Maybe next year we’ll do a trip to Disney with her or something else special instead.

I have friends who do big, fun parties every year. I have friends that do something every other year, or maybe less than that, depending on the arrival of other children, or whatever else is going on in their lives. I have friends whose children’s birthday dates are very close and who have one party for both kids. I like parties. I like having them and I love planning them (yay Pinterest!). I’m just not sure if my kid needs one every year. And I’m not sure if I want to spend the money and time every year.

But I will say that our memories of Mattie’s first birthday party are very precious. And as I was standing watching Spencer “eat” his cake, I looked around at everyone and thought, I am so glad we decided to have a first birthday party for him. Children bring family and friends together. I think that is always worth celebrating. Even if the execution of it can be exhausting!

How often do you have birthday parties for your children? How do you decide? If you don’t end up having a party, what do you do for their birthday?