Just Say No: The New Resolution

It may be surprising to some that I’m a bit anti-New Year resolution. I mean fitness instructors earn big bucks from others goals, why wouldn’t I be onboard?

Let me clarify my stance.

I support the idea of making changes that equal a better you. And there’s nothing wrong with making those commitments at the start of a new year. My issue is that most resolutions add something to your plate without taking something away. If I have learned one thing since becoming a mother, it is this–NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY, YOU SIMPLY CANNOT DO IT ALL.

The other half of that statement is not as widely known, but it actually holds the greater truth… AND REMAIN A SANE, HAPPY and FULFILLED WOMAN, WIFE, FRIEND, AND MOTHER.

Just Say No Pics

Looking back at my 2014, by all means, it was a success. I had a lot to show for it. My business was growing, I wrote a few popular blog posts (thank you for that!), I was a room mom, and I secured a spot in the upcoming Boston Marathon… all things that I am proud that I accomplished.

But my eyes were opened to the busy state of my life when I started thinking about my plans for 2015. I wasn’t focusing on what I could do next; I was more concerned about what I could let go.

Over the last year, I realized that I wasn’t always sane, wasn’t always happy and wasn’t the best wife, friend or mother because I was too busy. I had such a tight schedule between commitments that there wasn’t room for much error. If the girls were acting like kids and running late, then that meant I was running late. Before I knew it, I was yelling at them to hurry.

My evenings had changed too. Gone were those precious couple of hours that my husband and I shared after we put the kids to sleep. Instead, I turned on my computer to start the next task, wondering how long I could work until he got annoyed.

I have always cherished my friendships, and many are long distance. I no longer had time to return texts let alone phone calls. And Y’all can’t even imagine the piles of laundry I couldn’t find the time to do. My life was starting to look like my hair–on end, wound up tight and frizzy! Small things were turning into a bigger problem. I was too busy to live my own life!

Busy is one of those things that seems so important, somewhat glamorous and desirable especially when you’ve been taking care of babies for half a decade or more. Whether you stay at home or work, your sense of daily accomplishment when it comes to caring for you kids is measured on such a different scale than your “old life.” Many moms wrestle with feeling unproductive and unimportant even though that is far from the truth. It is so easy to want to throw yourself into all these things that give that “real world” sense of accomplishment and tangible feedback. As someone who’s been down that road, let me caution you not to lose sight of what (or rather who) is truly important.

In junior high, I remember that popular anti-drug campaign with the catchy slogan “JUST SAY NO!” It seems like the perfect anthem for me and any mom who is too busy for their own life. With resolutions swirling about this month, recognize that one of the best commitments you can make as a mother is to take something off your plate rather than put something on.

Strike a balance. Be involved in something, but not in everything. Figure out what really matters to you and your family. Make sacrifices to create time for those important things and people. Contrary to what you may believe, if you must turn away a good opportunity now, trust that a better one will present itself later. Your children are watching, and the example you set is important.

MLE Calendar

I realize not everyone is crazy like me, but chances are you have a friend that is. Busy, type-A, “yes girls” like me need people like you to speak sense into our lives. I am so thankful for my easy-going/sensible friends and my husband that told me it was okay to back off. No, this isn’t shockingly new advice, but sometimes timing is everything. Maybe you need a reminder to clear your schedule a bit more this year.

Though I may not have an official resolution this year, I’m hoping to simplify my life. When the next new year rolls around, I hope I made time to be present with the little and big people in my life that mean the most. Oh and I hope I finally get around to all that laundry because I won’t have an excuse anymore!

Mary Lauren Eubank
Mary-Lauren is a curly-haired Texan in the trenches of motherhood with two sassy and entertaining daughters. A busy body in the truest sense, she teaches fitness classes all week at Define Jacksonville. To stay sane, Mary-Lauren requires a daily dose of dark chocolate, unwinds with a page-turner and folds laundry watching just the kind of reality TV that she will forbid her girls from watching in the future. A wannabe foodie, she loves to learn about, prepare, experiment and indulge in all things food…well except the shopping part with kids in tow. She blogs about all things fitness from debunking the latest trends to goal setting, Mary-Lauren is passionate about being active, being real and being healthy!

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