Oddly Therapeutic

As a mother, heck, as a woman… as a human being, I look for things that will bring me some calm and peace during a hard day or week. I’m not talking massages or taking a walk. Albeit those things do bring me joy and calm, sometimes a girl needs something random. The kind of things that makes me laugh my ass off or even just stop the tears for whatever reason they may have happened that day. When life brings you chaos, I am here to bring you a list of things that will minimize it. Here is your list of randomly therapeutic things.

Ladies, meet my cockroach!

Somewhere in a zoo in England, there is the sweetest little cockroach running around because I cared. This is NOT a joke, and yes, I am a proud owner of a cockroach with my ex boyfriend’s name attached to it. Now, this cockroach doesn’t have to be named after an ex. It can be named after the kid that decided to write all over your walls that day, the spouse who forgot to switch over the laundry for fourth time, or even the woman at the grocery store who got into the check-yourself-out line and clearly can’t scan a box of crackers. I have never felt better about spending $2 on something so dumb, yet so amazingly therapeutic. My therapist has even since recommended it to other clients. Click HERE to get your own cockroach.

Silly kids, tricks are for moms.

Go to the dollar store, buy a case of silly string and do NOT tell your kids. Get them to go play outside (they will probably gripe and complain, so this makes it a good time.) When they least expect it, walk out armed and ready to spray them. COVER them in the silly string. If you’re feeling generous, give them a couple cans as well. An all-out silly string war hurts noone, and it guarantees laughter among you all. Minus the threenager because God forbid, she didn’t get her favorite color silly string, but life isn’t fair and M0mmy just sprayed you more. There is little cleanup required, because it’s my experience the rain will wash it away, and it pulls right off hair and clothing. Extra points if you scare the kids by doing this — there is truly no greater joy.

Throw an ax at it.

I’m not talking about the body spray, but definitely that is something that should be thrown — away in the trash. There is a rise in a type of business that lets regular people throw an ax at a wooden target. Think darts but with a much more intense type of feel. Now, the only chopping I have ever done is in the kitchen, so if you have chopped wood and do on the regular, props to you. The kind people that set up and guide you at these types of businesses get you ready to release your inner beast. Throwing an ax is powerful, scary and OH SO FRIGGIN’ AMAZING. You don’t have to be good, just don’t throw it in the wrong direction (they frown upon that). Take your friends, go alone, date night it up, it doesn’t matter. Give me a beer and an ax, and I’m suddenly looking like the Brawny man himself (but with a better set of eyebrows.)

Yes, they’re real.

I have had days where it felt like it was all collapsing around me. (Who hasn’t?!) Putting something special on can flip your attitude though. A new lipstick can turn around your whole vibe for a day. I have literally just put on lipstick and looked a step slightly above homeless, and even gotten compliments. That lipstick changed my day. Give me some eyelashes and I look like I just walked into a gala, when it was really just Publix. False eyelashes make Mama feel like a million bucks. Make sure you know how to put them on so you don’t look like a stroke patient by the end of the day with one of them half attached to your upper cheek. Maybe just buy a really amazing mascara, new lip gloss and call it day.

This isn’t KidzBop.

I enjoy the Taylor Swift I have to listen to daily,on the drive to school. Give me some Dave Matthews Band and I am content when cooking dinner. It’s after a frustrating day that I need some Notorious B.I.G., telling me “now we drink champagne when we thirstayyyy.” Think back to yourself in college and what you danced your body glitter off to. Songs from your wedding, what gets you PUMPED during a workout, the ones that you and your best friends sang at the top of your lungs while driving around in the 1997 Pontiac Grand Am. I have a Spotify playlist that is meant for me to have headphones on or BLAST in the car when no tiny humans are present. It has some of my favorite rap and punk rock songs. Even some pop mixed in that gets me ready to kick ass and take names. It releases all bits of negative energy and I usually pretend I’m in a music video when I listen to it. (That’s normal, right?) Music is total therapy and you need to find your playlist. HERE is mine available on Spotify, you can borrow it. (Reminder: A bunch of the songs are not okay for little ears!)

When it comes down to it, we all just need a moment. Do something that makes you feel a little bit more relaxed and a little bit happier.

What is it that you do to unwind that feels like therapy for your soul?