The New Kid in School

I thought we were doing everything right, all the right things to help our child adjust to starting his third-grade year at a new school…

How We Prepared

We told him very soon after we made the decision, well in advance of the new year starting. This gave him plenty of time to process it in his little mind! Our excitement was real, so we presented the move as an exciting opportunity, so much that his twin sister was jealous that she didn’t get to go too!

We made an effort to bring him with us to any school events so that he would be more familiar and comfortable with the new school. As soon as we found out teacher assignments, we tried to figure out if we knew anyone in our class, and we made sure to let our son know. In our case, going back to our old school was an option, so we also made sure that he knew he could always return. (Maybe this was a mistake?)

But Then We Had a Bad Day…

The first day came around, and he bravely entered his new classroom seeming like everything was fine. Then on that same afternoon when I picked him up, he was holding back tears. “Can I go back to [my old school]?” He wouldn’t really tell me any details about his day only that he wanted to go back to his old school.

How We Reacted to the Bad Day

Internally, I wanted to cry, too. I missed my old mommy friends and knowing the ropes of the old school.  Seeing my little guy holding back tears, it was easy to doubt all the reasons we wanted to change schools. We had to remember that as his parents, we analyzed all the pros and cons months ago. It was our choice to give this new school a good solid try.

We immediately communicated with his teachers; we needed them to know that we needed their support during the transition. We changed our pickup option from “car rider” to “walk up” so that I was able to see him as soon as he was dismissed. We arranged some quick playground playdates with our new school friends and some with our old school friends. Even though we wanted to focus on making some new friends at his new school, we also wanted our son to know that his old friends would not be replaced!

Moving Forward

Two weeks in. When I asked him if he is glad to be at his new school, he says yes! We’ve had one other “bad” day (and I am sure there will be more), but in my mind, it was more of a normal school gripe. I am ok that he still asks to go back to his old school, because it was a great school. How could a normal child not miss it?! I also have to remember that it has only been two weeks!

We will continue to build relationships on the playground for him and for us. To help him feel more secure, I want to become as familiar with his new school as I was with his old school, and that is NOT going to happen overnight. As we all adjust, it will get easier!

When I think about my boy and how great he is doing, it makes me happy. He is learning to talk to me about his feelings, and he knows that I am here to listen. He understands and trusts that we are doing what we think is best for him. Change is difficult but inevitable, and he is learning a valuable lesson here. And even as we try to do everything right as parents, we have to remember that we are learning, too.

When I look back, I see three years of love and learning at his old school, but when I look forward, I see the future that is best for him. And soon he will see it, too!

What is the biggest change your child has experienced? What made it easier for them? What made it easier for you?