Night Terrors Are No Joke: When Will They Stop?!

In the last few weeks, my son has started having night terrors. He’s 6 years old and has always been a restless sleeper (grinding teeth, tossing and turning, etc.). But, never has he woken up from a sound sleep, bolted upright in bed, and walked around the room whimpering, confused, crying, screaming out for my husband or me — all with no recollection of anything in the morning. Until now.

A night terror is not technically a dream, but more like a sudden reaction of fear that happens during the transition from one sleep stage to another. Different than nightmares, parents can’t wake children from the episode or console them. I was so scared the first time it happened. I asked him repeatedly what was wrong and tried to get him to lay back down. He couldn’t hear me or respond to me. Once he went back to sleep, I grabbed my phone and turned to Google.

I had heard of night terrors through a friend of mine whose son started having them when he was 4. It was hard to imagine the middle-of-the-night chaos until I witnessed it myself. She always said once you find out what triggers them, and how to cope with them, it gets easier. But, that’s the million-dollar question — what is suddenly causing my son to have night terrors?

I’ve been keeping a log of when it happens, what time, what we did before bed, what he ate that day, etc. It’s almost always within the first hour or two of him falling asleep, when he is still in the light sleep phase. There is no obvious reason to us why they’re happening and why they’re even increasing in frequency. I’ve talked with his teacher to see if something is off at school. I’ve asked him if he’s upset or stressed about something. I’ve tried to keep our bedtime routine as stress-free as possible. His pediatrician said it’s common at this age when their brains and imaginations are more active.

From what I found online, when night terrors happen, most of the brain is “asleep,” but the small part that controls a child’s movement, voice, and expression actually remains awake. Even though children who are having night terrors may yell, cry, or move around, they’re fast asleep and don’t realize what they’re doing.

It may not bother him, because he doesn’t remember any of it in the morning, but it really upsets me. People say it’s more terrifying for the parent than the child, and I agree. But, I still feel helpless. Not to mention, I’m afraid to fall asleep each night in fear of what’s about to come. I lie wide awake wondering why this is happening and what can I do about it. Unfortunately, I think the answer is, not much.

I made the mistake of telling him about it the first time it happened. I was curious to see if he remembered it or what happened (since it was new to us), and now he asks some mornings if he had another one. I downplay them completely now as if they never — and are no longer — happening.

I don’t care how many times I am told that night terrors are “benign” and “normal for this age,” there is nothing normal about them.

Has your child had night terrors? If so, how do you cope with them?

Kerry Schicker
Boy mom. Household CEO. Corporate leader. Outdoor lover. Social seeker. Sun worshipper. Curious traveler. Champagne enthusiast. These words describe me, Kerry Schicker, and contributor for Jacksonville Mom. I first approached founders Vicky and Megan after a heartbreaking miscarriage a few years ago. I had a very unpleasant experience with my OB at the time and I needed to get it off my chest so I wrote an anonymous blog that resonated with some of our readers. I have since written dozens of blogs mostly about motherhood. I have a passion for writing. My 20-year career has grown through some form of writing including TV news reporting and producing, magazine publishing, public relations, advertising, marketing, blogging and my current day job doing HR and employee communications for a Fortune 300 FinTech company. I am thankful that Jacksonville has such a supportive community for moms like me, and I can't imagine raising my two boys anywhere else.

10 COMMENTS

  1. My child has night terrors. They started when he was 4yrs old paired with a high fever he was battling. I noticed that the night terrors occur when he is hot – sweating while sleeping, he and his brother have a yelling match before bed, or if he is extremely tired. I make sure that the fan stays on, that arguing stays at a minimum, and have him nap on days that we are super busy. He will be 6yrs old in August. He was having night terrors almost every night for a month until I noticed what was happening when they occurred. Now, he might have them once a month.

    They are extremely terrifying. He has no idea that they are happening. Good luck in figuring out your child’s triggers. I hope both of our kids night terrors completely subside soon. ❤️

    • My daughter had them from about 4 to 7 years old and she’s now 10. They were seemingly her waking up from a nightmare but she never remembered anything. She would have similar situations of occurrences like getting too hot or arguing before bed with her sister. I now believe she has a small bit of anxiety over sleeping alone. They were nothing simple waking us all up in the middle of the night to screams and crying.

  2. My son started doing this lately, so I felt I needed to clam him down and clear his mind before bed.
    I got a mediation app that has sleep stories and it REALLY relaxed us both.
    We LOVE the App CALM. It comes with several free sleep stories.
    He slept so much better and did not wake up screaming. Relaxing smells help too and aways make sure the bladder is empty!! A full bladder can really upset them when they are trying to sleep.

    Mulling spices in a sock with a rubber and will work fine. Cinnamon sticks or whatever works.

    Best of luck!

  3. I had them in early childhood, teenage years and occasionally as an adult. Mine come and go depending on what’s happening in my life. No one bothered to tell my poor husband about them (because you forget if you don’t have them for awhile) and he experienced one first hand and it was awful. Hopefully, your child will grow out of them because some do. I just wasn’t one of the lucky ones.

  4. My daughter started having night terrors at 18 months. It was very frequent in the beginning and then moved to once every 3-4 months. It’s true that it is so much more traumatic for us as parents…..for me, it accelerated my anxiety.

    I did a ton of reading on them and found that over exposure to electronics, diet, over exhaustion, and over heating can all trigger the night terrors. We regulate and monitor all of these closely, and we started to co-sleep the first two hours before moving her to her own bed.
    Also, sometimes in the midst of one, a cold rag applied helps them relax and get back to a more calm state.

    Our pediatrician says they are normal and that kids usually out grown them around 6 or 7….we started at 18 months and she just turned 5. I’ve just noticed that they seem to be subsiding finally…..

    Good luck!!!

  5. When my son started having them we made some changes. We didn’t let him watch certain shows or those friendly YouTube channels. We have always prayed before bed but we now have a Christian music playlist set for bed time. Right away we notice a difference.

  6. My daughter started having them at 18 months and at 5.5 years old she rarely has them now. When we were in the thick of it she had them at least 4 nights a week. It was a household struggle as no one (besides her) could sleep during an episode. They lasted various lengths of time and we struggled to figure it out. I don’t declare to be an expert at all but thought I would share what helped us. Our pediatrician mentioned that some kids excess sugar could bring on a night terror. My first thought was it couldn’t be because we don’t give sweets at night. However it was actually when we cut down on carbs at least two hours before bed that we saw a decrease in night terrors. Not sure if that will work for you but worth a try! Good luck and know that other moms are thinking of you during those dark hours.

  7. It’s terrifying for sure. My daughter suffered with them for almost two years and they are finally getting better. The hitting and screaming throughout the night was so scary. We had to video them once for the ENT and we made the mistake of her seeing it (unintentionally) and it really scared her. We were referred to a sleep study last year (she has other parasomnias that we are dealing with) but we are holding off a little longer. My only advice is don’t try to wake him, as hard as it is, from my experience trying to talk or wake through it only prolongs the episode. We just sit there to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. Good luck!

  8. Thank you to everyone who shared your experience with night terrors. I hate that anyone has to go through this – parents or child. We are learning to cope with them a little better, but they still worry me. I will take a few of your suggestions and try them as well.

  9. My son started having them when he was six and lasted until he was around 10. the first time was triggered by a high fever but after that it would happen if he ever became overtired (Allergy season). Super scary-he never remembered it but he would look tired the next day. I noticed that it usually happened around 40 to 45 minutes after he went to sleep and after researching it it’s when they are transitioning within the sleep patterns. I found that if I would set an alarm and go up around 35 minutes after he went to sleep and just lift the blanket and put some cool air through, gently rub his back and wake him a little out of that deep sleep and help him transition that he would not have the terror after a couple of nights of good sleep and not having the terrors it would usually go away at least for a few months. Happy to answer any questions. Hang in there mama! sleep terrors are strange-. I had never heard of it!

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