Deployment sucks. Period. Having a family member away for any amount of time or living far away from your extended family is difficult for grown-ups, but can be sad and confusing for little kids. My husband, Tommy, has been deployed a lot recently, and he left two Daddy’s girls back home who miss him dearly. When he first deployed my youngest was 18 months and my oldest had just celebrated her fourth birthday, so they were little. As we know little kids have big feelings, so I wanted to be sure that we did our best to explain where Daddy was going and why he was going and answer any questions they had.
We explained that Daddy would be working for our country and that he would be on a ship for a long time. I use the word hero when talking about their Daddy because kids think heroes are really cool and because well, he is one of our country’s heroes.
We did several fun things during this deployment to keep them involved and to make them feel like Daddy is still close to home. Obviously, we talk about him, send e-mails, and FaceTime whenever possible, but here are some other ideas to help your kids remember Daddy when he’s away or anyone you want to help your kids remember, maybe even grandparents who live far away.
Bon Voyage Gifts for Daddy
The girls and I made some simple crafts, wrapped them up and put them in Tommy’s seabag before he left. One of his favorites was the hug from Lyla. We traced her hands onto construction paper, cut them out, and strung them together with ribbon. He hung it up over his bed and said he even got some surprise hugs in the middle of the night when they fell on top of him.
Good-Bye Gifts for the Girls
Tommy gave the girls a Daddy Doll that has his picture on it in his flight suit because that’s what he wears when he is working. This way they can see him and give him a big hug whenever they need it. We bought this at www.daddydolls.com. He also gave them a globe pillow that we found at www.huggaplanet.com. We follow Daddy halfway around the world, and I show them where he stops on the way over, and because it’s a pillow they can hug and squeeze it. I have to say its a nice little geography lesson for me too.
Kisses from Daddy
The girls love kisses from Daddy and they also love chocolate. Before Tommy left, he put a lot, yes a lot, of Hershey Kisses in a candy jar so that each girl gets a kiss a day. They never forget to ask for their Daddy kiss.
Books on Video
Reading to the girls is one of our favorite things to do so Tommy videoed himself reading their favorite books so we can watch them whenever we need to see Daddy and hear his voice. I’m not sure if they actually hear him read every time because they are too busy jumping up and down screaming “Daddy, Daddy!” It’s also fun for me to see him.
Pictures
After he had left, the girls decorated foam picture frames, and I framed pictures of them with their Daddy for their rooms. This gave them a nonbreakable frame that they can pick up and stare at whenever they want.
Boxes and Signs
The girls colored countless pictures and made many crafts for Daddy while he was away. Then we put them in a box with his favorite goodies, including cookies we make together, decorate the box and mail it to Daddy. They love making things for Daddy and do it without me even asking.
Include them in Homecoming Plans
With deployments being as unpredictable as they are now I don’t do countdown chains or put X’s on a calendar. And trust me, it would’ve burned me on this last deployment because everything totally changed. However, when the date does get close, we get together with other families and paint welcome home signs for the Daddy’s and Mommy’s coming home and put them on base for them to see. We also make signs for the house and to hold up at the homecoming. The girls loved putting handprints on the big signs.
As homecomings get close, I worry how will my kids respond to their Daddy when they first see him? I believe that seeing his face over and over, writing him notes, making crafts and talking about him daily truly pave the way to a happy homecoming, which is exactly what this picture shows.
I would love to hear your ideas for keeping family and friends close to your kids even when they are far away.
Am I the only one with tears while reading this?! Great post, Liz -I will certainly use some of these!
Glad you enjoyed it Martha. It has definitely been tough, but kids are awesome and so resilient.
Love this article. Daddy dolls have been a huge hit even for my boys. There is also a website I will have to look up the name where she will custom create a storybook for your children about them and their deployed parent. It’s really cool. Ill have to look up the site. Thanks for the great ideas. I love the hug idea, so cute.