Ten years ago, at the ripe age of 23, two little lines showed up on a test I wasn’t planning to pass. It was my very last semester of college, a time when most young adults go forth into the world to establish their presence and embark on new journeys. Were my then-boyfriend (now husband) and I planning for my journey to include a squishy tiny human? Considering it was still a fairly new relationship, it most certainly wasn’t Plan A! But together, we decided. “Okay, this is actually going to happen.” Although he was older and more established in his career, I pivoted my direction to begin the wildest, most unpredictable adventure of my life: motherhood.
Yes, everyone warned about the sleepless nights, endless laundry, and constant snack requests, but how did no one tell me just how much I would be growing up right alongside my sweet son? As he’s been figuring out how to be a kid, I’ve been figuring out how to be me — sometimes with a bit more grace and other times with more caffeine than I care to admit. Last month, as we celebrated a decade of his life, I also celebrated my own evolution, because let’s be real: We’ve both been learning on the job.
We often hear people say, “Motherhood changes you,” or the familiar advice to “enjoy these days now before they grow up.” But what if these two ideas are more connected than we realize? Watching my son grow from the “baby” to “toddler” to “young adult” sections at Target has me reflecting on how much we’ve grown together over the years. I was 24 when I had him. While technically a legal adult, I was still a child in life, not really wanting to grow up. But with newfound responsibility, you learn to shape up: how you carry yourself, what sort of influence you want to be for someone who looks up to you, what sort of magic and memories you want to create. So, in a way, it’s been him and I figuring out life together. If it were not for his fresh set of eyes and his wonder of how the world works, I doubt I would be the same person today. His milestones, from learning to walk to navigating friendships, have mirrored my own journey of learning what it means to be both a mother and an individual.
Motherhood isn’t a role you step into with a manual, just like childhood doesn’t come with a set of easy instructions. There were moments when I wasn’t sure who was learning more — him or me. His struggles became my own (patience on both our ends was by far the biggest hurdle we had to come across) and the challenges of parenting blended with the growing pains of adulthood (I still hate doing taxes every year). But there were also triumphs, moments where we both grew stronger, where I realized that motherhood didn’t just change me — it shaped me in ways I hadn’t expected. As my son grew into his personality and confidence, I found my own voice, becoming more grounded in who I was.
As I look back on these years, I can’t help but laugh at all the moments we’ve shared — the times we both barely held it together, and the times we just gave in and laughed until we couldn’t breathe. From the epic tantrums (his and mine) to the endless bedtime stories, we’ve been through it all. I used to think that once you leave college, you’ve got it all figured out, but it turns out, we never stop growing up.
I’m not just celebrating a decade of his life — I’m celebrating how we’ve weathered the journey together. Every milestone of his has marked one for me as well, reminding me that motherhood isn’t about standing still while they grow: It’s about growing with them. I’m still learning and still evolving (and probably will be forever) right alongside him. And if this last decade has taught me anything, it’s that motherhood is equal parts struggle and joy — tears from both exhaustion and laughter. We’ve faced our fair share of challenges, but we’ve also built a bond that’s stronger because of them. He truly is one of my favorite people ever; no one could tell you more facts about dinosaurs or football, and his imagination for building dream homes (like his father) could actually go somewhere. I’m so proud of the boy he’s becoming, and just as proud of the person I’ve grown into by his side. Here’s to another decade of figuring it out together — one snack, one hug, and one completely unplanned adventure at a time.
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