They told me that love… it was all I would ever need,
And now I feel unsteady because love feels captive to greed.
They told me love could save a soul and mend a broken heart,
My eyes now sting as tears well up, and families are torn apart.
They told me love would find me, that it would wrap me in its arms,
They didn’t tell me that being found would be sandwiched by others’ harm.
They sang words to me about love and freedom and a place that’s safe for all,
Yet all the love in my heart and yours isn’t enough to make the hatred fall.
They tell us that their love for this place is the reason that they fight,
And my patriotism feels betrayed because they’re killing us out of spite.
They said to me that wherever there is love, there is life abundant,
Does that mean love is gone when all we see is judgment?
They said that by sharing love, I could interrupt cycles of hate,
But as humanity is stripped from our neighbors, it feels like love is too late.
They said there is no greater love than one that would lay their life down for another,
But now they stand by the guns and the men who took three children’s mother.
They said to look for the helpers when love feels far away,
But when we found the helper, they beat him down and took his life that day.
They tell me with their words that love is the ideal I should hold most dear,
As they show me with their actions that what they really crave is fear.
They told me love would be enough, that it could change my life and yours,
But they didn’t say, and still don’t know, where love has gone amidst these wars.
So I tell my kids I love them as I wrap their tiny hands in mine,
And I search for words to reassure them without saying “it’ll all be fine.”
I want so badly to tell them of the ideals I held so close,
But to say love will always be enough feels like a falsehood with a size that is gross.
Right now, with their bodies draped around me, I’m suffocating by their need,
And despite my efforts to hold it all in, my emotions begin to bleed.
In this moment, my voice shakes, and tears flood my tired eyes,
Because all the things I’ve heard about love right now simply feel like lies.
I long to show them movies and read them fairytales where gentle loves always win,
But my brain interrupts that longing once reality creeps back in.
In this moment, I am acutely aware of the war raging between my head and heart,
But to delay my words seems harmful, so I take a deep breath and then I start.
I tell them that love… it’s all they will ever need,
But I don’t stop there; instead, I share some cautions they should heed.
I share with them that love is beautiful and holds the power to heal,
And I share that though it’s true and good, that isn’t how it’ll always feel.
For you see, I tell them, love is fierce and strong,
And because of that, it hurts so much whenever something’s wrong.
It’s true, I tell them, love will always be enough,
And I tell them that love isn’t always gentle; in fact, sometimes it’s tough.
I try to define it for them, to say love is so much more than a word,
That love looks like standing up to protest against the harmful herd.
As I share these truths with my children, I hug them and pull them in tight,
And while my head can’t quite understand it, my heart knows this is right.
It is right to tell our children of the love that envelops so much,
And it is right to tell them of the painful truths, realities, and such.
For maybe, my fellow mamas, our children don’t need the answers wrapped up in a bow,
Instead, maybe all they need is to know they have us as a safe place to go.
Maybe part of our job is to raise a generation that knows the radical side of love,
So that when they grow up, they’re not left to wonder why it can feel more like a raven than a dove. –Olivia Smith
