Date Night In: Making the Most of Our Time At Home

Date night in

I love date nights. I love having someone else stay home with my kids while my husband and I dress up and finally get out of the house. Before having our first child, we had grand plans about having date nights two or three times a month–then reality sets in. Babysitters are expensive, and it is hard to find someone trustworthy and reliable, and who is available when needed. Not to mention the money spent on a night out, trying to make a reservation, deciding who will skip wine and drive home, and all of the other fun surprises that pop-up when you are trying to get out of the house with small children around.

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Enjoying a date night on the town before we had kids.

Why is Date Night Important?

It quickly became clear that getting out of the house for date night was going to be more difficult than we thought. With all of the stress that raising children can put on your marriage, we needed to find realistic, achievable ways to connect as husband and wife.  So my husband and I decided to start doing “Date Night In” and treating it as a special event and not just another night at home. These dates have become something we put on the calendar, and both look forward to.

How do we keep Date Night In from being just another night at home?  

When we first started Date Night In, we had one baby who was a great sleeper. I would make a point to clean the house, wear something cute that would be appropriate for a restaurant, and my hair would be clean and make-up applied. Our daughter was in bed each night, right on time with no fuss, and we could start our date night in a relatively stress-free environment. Fast forward to a second baby: much less sleep, more unpredictability, and a lot more messiness in our lives. Our date nights evolved as our lives did, but no matter our mood during the day, once the kids go to bed on Date Night In, we reset and focus on each other.

The kids are finally asleep, now what do we do?

There are so many factors when deciding on the best activity, but some of our favorites include:

Wine & Tapas – Instead of making a traditional meal, we pick out a bottle of wine (ok, maybe two) and a selection of appetizers. I usually go with pre-made items from Fresh Market (I LOVE their cheese selection), so there isn’t too much prep work. It is fun to use all of those cute serving trays we received as wedding gifts that usually collect dust, and there is something relaxing about leisurely snacking on small plates.

Cooking together – I am so fortunate to have married a man who likes to cook. We usually take turns making meals, but when we have the time, it is fun to make one together. Typically one of us does the salad or side dish and the other the main course. The true collaboration comes with dessert; we love coming up with new dessert creations. Our latest indulgence was flourless peanut butter cookies using three different flavors of peanut butter.

Games – To avoid the potential rut of just watching TV, and since we are both usually too tired to cook and watch a full movie, my husband and I play a lot of games during Date Night In. Whether board games, card games, or old-school Nintendo, a little “friendly” competition over dinner and drinks makes for a fun night and really gets us laughing together.

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Opening another bottle of wine during one of our favorite games.

The most important ‘rule’ for us is no phones. If we were at a restaurant or out for drinks, I would be annoyed if my husband kept checking his phone. Same rules apply at home. Most nights, once the kids are in bed, I am catching up on social media or emails. But on a date night, I make a point to put my phone away in another room, so I am not even tempted, and Trevor does the same.

While date nights no longer have the same flair they used to, it’s important to enjoy the special moments we can carve out together. We’ve found that making a little effort for a Date Night In makes a big difference in keeping our relationship strong.

Jessica Stewart
Jessica is a North Carolina girl, who after living in New York City for eight years, is loving being back in the south since moving to Jacksonville in 2008. She is a stay at home mom to Linda Claire (3) and Liam (2). Prior to filling her days with parks and play doh, Jessica worked in event planning and marketing for financial and media companies, including This Old House. A graduate of UNC Chapel Hill, she is a passionate Tarheel fan, and college basketball season is her favorite time of year. Jessica spends her free time on the tennis court, training for races with her running buddies, or drinking wine her husband, Trevor. Her favorite things include snuggling with her sweet dog at the end of the day, hearing her kids laugh together, and pink cupcakes with sprinkles.

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