Opening the Door To Preschooler’s Fears: A Bug’s Tale

Recently, we were playing at a park we’d never been to across town. My three year old, LC, was happily climbing on the playground, and my almost two year old, Liam, was ambling around picking up leaves. I was standing in between them, and I took a moment to smile to myself, mentally celebrating 30 seconds of peace where neither of my children were asking for something.  

I looked back at Liam, and he had his hands in what I thought was dirt. As I walked over to him, shaking my head at the mess he made, he suddenly started screaming and flapping his hands. As I got closer, I realized he wasn’t covered in dirt, he was covered in fire ants.

Panic set in. He had never been bitten by an ant before, so I had no idea if he was allergic. His screaming and crying were frantic as I brushed away ants as quickly as I could, while attempting to undress him, as his clothes were covered, too.

During this time, LC ran over, and she started screaming and crying, too, because she saw Liam and I in panic mode. After washing Liam in the park bathroom sink (not a pretty sight), he was relatively calm. He was happily sucking on his lollipop from my emergency bribery stash, despite having over 30 ant bites. LC, however, had only two bites, but she had a furrowed brow and did not seem convinced that everything was ok.  

I chalked this incident up to a traumatic afternoon, and I was relieved that it hadn’t been worse. I did not realize that one afternoon at the park had turned my generally happy go lucky three-year-old in to a fearful and worried little person. 

There had better not be any bugs.  At all.  Anywhere.  Ever.
There had better not be any bugs. At all. Anywhere. Ever.

For weeks after the ant incident, LC had a complete meltdown at the sight of any insect. And in Florida, bugs are everywhere. She made other kids cry at the park because her screams at the sight of even the smallest bug were so epic. A tiny little bug landed on the shopping cart at Publix, and she was so inconsolable, we had to leave the store.

I tried rationalizing with her and making light of the situation.“Bugs are tiny, and most of them will not hurt you. Look how much bigger you are than the bug, it is scared of you because you are so big and strong.” But she was not having it.  

I found that acknowledging her fear and taking it seriously instead of trying to sweep it under the rug was most effective. It made her feel better to address the possibility of insects before went places and to discuss the best way to handle the situation if she saw one and felt scared. And making a game out of it also worked. At the park, her friends started stepping in as ‘heroes’ and catching bugs if she saw one, which made LC happy, and her buddies loved being bug catchers.

Let me tell you little brother, there are some scary, scary, things out there.  Have you heard about these things called...gutters?!
Let me tell you little brother, there are some scary, scary, things out there.

Eventually, this fear of insects has mostly subsided, but it seemed to open a new door of being seriously afraid of things. I figured my kids would be afraid of the dark or the boogie man, and we’d read a cute, happy book about it and move on. I never realized how real and intense preschooler fears could be. I have even crossed a busy parking lot carrying two squirmy toddlers to avoid the dreaded and ‘super scary’ gutters.  

As each new fear comes along, we have stuck to the same basic strategy of acknowledging that she feels scared and attempting to address all of her concerns. This can prove especially challenging when discussing for the 100th time how unlikely it is that she will encounter a mean wolf, fall in to a gutter, or explaining that she doesn’t actually have magic ice powers like Elsa to freeze things that make her scared. But I keep reminding myself that her fears are a sign of her incredible developing imagination, and I should be grateful for all the extra snuggles when I get to comfort her.  

What are your kids afraid of? Any good strategies for easing their fears? Other than figuring out exactly how Elsa really does freeze all the scary stuff.

Jessica Stewart
Jessica is a North Carolina girl, who after living in New York City for eight years, is loving being back in the south since moving to Jacksonville in 2008. She is a stay at home mom to Linda Claire (3) and Liam (2). Prior to filling her days with parks and play doh, Jessica worked in event planning and marketing for financial and media companies, including This Old House. A graduate of UNC Chapel Hill, she is a passionate Tarheel fan, and college basketball season is her favorite time of year. Jessica spends her free time on the tennis court, training for races with her running buddies, or drinking wine her husband, Trevor. Her favorite things include snuggling with her sweet dog at the end of the day, hearing her kids laugh together, and pink cupcakes with sprinkles.

1 COMMENT

  1. My son is now five and has just recently started to overcome a very intense fear of wooden stairs and decks and water. We have no idea what started the water fear but he suddenly was petrified of washing his hair. It has been a rough time avoiding all wooden walkways and trying to wash his hair.

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