Why We Don’t Need a Military Appreciation Month

May is Military Appreciation Month. It’s 31 days long. Last year, my husband was deployed for 233.

Our son arrived five months before he was able to meet his daddy. We both wore RED (Remember Everyone Deployed) for 21 Fridays in a row, plus the additional 12 I had to my pregnant self, having already said goodbye to my husband and still awaiting our baby.

There are 12 months in a year. May is, obviously, only one of them.

During all 12 of those months, service members all over the world are sacrificing their freedom- the freedom to be where they choose, when they choose; the freedom to spend time with their loved ones — for ours.

Hey, Dad- Welcome home! Wanna meet your kid?
Hey, Dad. Welcome home! Wanna meet your kid?

The US Census Bureau predicts there will be an American baby born every 8 seconds in 2015. There are 2,678,400 seconds in the month of May. That’s 334,800 babies.

“Capt. Clark Carpenter, of the 22nd Marine Expeditionary Unit in which Wagenhauser serves, told Newsday that personnel are typically granted emergency leave only in cases of imminent or actual death in their immediate family. He said since Wagenhauser’s unit was deployed last May 15 to its undisclosed overseas location, 16 marines have been notified of the birth of a child. He said none have been granted to leave.” –The New York Times

Oh, you know- just another deployed service member, casually enjoying the birth of their first child via Skype.
Oh, you know, just another deployed service member, casually enjoying the birth of their first child via Skype.

It’s not just Daddies missing their kids. There are more than 200,000 female Active Duty service members, of which about 10% will get pregnant this year. That’s an average of about 1,700 women a month- 1,700 women in MAY– all of whom run the distinct risk of having to leave their littlest family members behind while they fulfill their obligation to protect ours. Forget missing, worrying about, wanting to be with your baby- were you 100% healed, yourself, whole- four months after giving birth? Mac is 11 months old and the scar from my C-section still alternates between throbbing and total eerie numbness as the nerves attempt to repair themselves.

“The dilemma is especially stark for servicewomen with newborn babies or very young children. All branches of the military give new mothers six weeks of maternity leave before they have to go back to work. But if they’re headed into a war zone, mothers are required to deploy as early as four months after their babies are born, depending on which branch of the military they serve.” -NPR

Teachers have hard, necessary jobs. So do policemen, and religious leaders and so very, very, many other people in even more professions. Many of these people, and jobs, have days, weeks, and months designated for their appreciation, too. Even more, don’t. There are also people who think the very idea of setting aside a time to “appreciate” one career choice over another is ridiculous. I mean, they chose their paths, just as our servicemen and women chose theirs, right?

My husband is a Petty Officer in the US Navy. He tries his best to melt into the floor when kind strangers approach his NWU-clad self in Home Depot, thanking him for his service. When older veterans spot him in Publix, buying diapers on the weekend, he barely squeaks out a “Thank you, Sir.” before he’s suddenly very, very preoccupied with reorganizing the contents of our cart. He doesn’t need a month of loud thanks, PSA’s, and 10% discounts- just a country aware that it’s true: Freedom Isn’t Free.

Not just in May — one month a year — but for all twelve.

Erin
Born in The Great State of Texas, Erin grew up in Jensen Beach, Florida. After graduating from Florida State University (Go, Noles!), she managed to wrangle herself a career in fashion management and HR; one that allowed her to live in her favorite places- Ft. Lauderdale, Los Angeles, Austin, Chicago, Palm Beach, & Newport Beach- before her husband, Derek, caught on to her plan. The couple moved to Jacksonville in 2013 for Derek’s second career in the Navy, where they now live happily as a party of four: their son, Mac, joined them in 2014 and their daughter, Josie, came less than two years later. Erin spends her weekends exploring Jacksonville with the fam, her weekdays learning how to be a Stay At Home Mom who’s never at home, and her nights knee-deep in t-shirt designs for Brindle &The Blonde- with one eye on the video monitor, of course.

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