‘I Love That for You’ (and Other Phrases to Keep in Your Mom Pocket)

Though we can disagree on many things, I believe everyone can agree that motherhood is a special journey for us all.  What I have found to be even more amazing is the friendships I have made through motherhood. Somehow, I have found myself the lucky recipient of the most amazing tribe of mothers. My friends run the gamut. Working moms, business owners, and stay-at-home moms are in the mix.  From vegan living to sober living, to popcorn and organic gummi bears for breakfast. (That last one was me. End-of-summer struggles with a toddler. Judge your mama!) Private, public, charter, and homeschool are all in the fold. Different birthing choices. Different religious choices. Needless to say, I am lucky to have such a diverse group of beautiful women to do life with kids with.

I am often left in awe of what some of them can accomplish in the same number of hours I have. I actually often wonder if they have a secret portal that allows them an extra hour or two. Something to investigate later. It is easy to look side to side and want to question how I mother. Should I have done more with them this summer? Don’t worry, I decided the answer was no. Special morning routines filled with songs and personalized meals? Also, no. Weekly camps of all their favorite things? You guessed it, nope again.

What I have found to be the greatest strength as I navigate motherhood is knowing myself. Like in all things, comparison will always be the thief of joy. We see all these amazing things people are doing (thanks, Jacksonville Mom), and later determine that we are inadequate or are not doing enough. While it is great to be inspired by others, that should not determine our personal worth. In an effort to combat that, I have a few go-to phrases that I use to remind myself that I am doing enough.

“I love that for you all.” It is a genuine response for something that I think is amazing, but I know it’s not our thing. I am not a morning person, so intense morning routines will never be a thing over here. I love that some of my friends can do an entire meditation session with their kids to start the day. I really want to be like that, but it just is not my thing.

“That is not in my ministry.” I know the gifts God has given me, and none of them include homeschooling my children. I was made to be “Mom.” That’s it. Common core mastery is for the lovely teachers that I will happily be a room mom for and ensure they have wonderful gifts throughout the school year.

“I would love to try that in the future. For now, can I just hear more?” These are for the things that I am generally interested in doing AND feels like a good fit for my family, but I don’t have the capacity to tackle now. We are a team of two. Just Mom and Dad. No family nearby. No consistent outside help. Just us. So, I have to know where and how I can lean in, and sometimes, even though I really want to, I just have to prioritize the must-haves.

“Aint no way.” This may be my personal favorite. I reserve this for the things I think are outlandish in my personal realm but I love for them. It’s what tickles my soul and what brings me joy knowing how diverse of perspectives we have.

What are some of the things you tell yourself? I am always looking to adopt more phrases.