Parental Bathroom Rights: Fort Knox or All Access?

Maybe it’s a Man/Woman thing–maybe it’s not. Since I’ve known my husband, he’s always locked the door anytime he would use the… ahem… restroom. Gah! I know–people don’t like to talk about POOP, but it doesn’t bother me, just ask my friends. He’s ALWAYS locked the door–since the beginning when we were dating–once we were married–and ten years later, YEP, still doing it. If he could put a deadbolt on the damn door, he would. I used to joke around with him and jiggle the door handle as if I was trying to come in, the screams that ensued were probably heard in space.


I’ve always been WAY more relaxed about this, much to his dismay.

Mami!!!! I need you

And now that we have kids, well, y’all know how that goes. If I were to close the door at all, I’d have one kid crying and tugging on the door handle and the other looking under the door to make sure I’m still in the house.

It doesn’t matter if my husband is home either. It’s as if the minute I’m not in their presence; they MUST.FIND.MAMI! NOW! Meanwhile, my husband takes his sweet time and listens to his Pandora or reads in peace.

Mami?!? Are you in there?

I suppose I thought this was the “normal” thing that happens with couples, so I never thought twice about it–until last year. One of my girlfriends sent a group text showing us a close up of her freshly washed face. Once I opened the photo, I realized her husband was in the background of the photo ON THE TOILET! I was floored. Being the close friend she is, I asked her, are you in the restroom WITH your husband? She answered a plain yes.

It made me think, what is wrong with my relationship that we’ve never done this (wait, do I even want to do this?). Do people actually do this? Her answer was simple: the restroom is the only place she can talk to her husband about important things, and she knows he’s not going to (or can’t, really) leave the conversation. I asked my husband why he won’t allow us in the restroom. His reply, that’s the only 5 minutes of peace he gets in the day. So one of my resolutions this year–to get MY 5 minutes of peace! Guess I’ll be adding a deadbolt to the honey do list for the bathroom door.

So tell me, are you a Fort Knox household or all access pass?

Patricia Kozack
Patricia Kozack is a professional makeup artist, wife and mom to two kids. Her days are spent wrangling the kids, being a mom taxi, and getting a workout in on the tennis courts. Her weekends are spent beautifying clients for their weddings and events.  She is obsessed with all things beauty related and cannot wait to share her niche of the world with Jacksonville Mom.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here