Everyone Can Give a Little… Even Kids

 

KidAt first, my son threw a fit when he saw me taking his toys and books and dropping them off at my favorite donation spot – the Humane Society. He must have been wondering what he did wrong to prompt me to take away things he loved to play with (that day), and was likely thinking I was the worst mom in the world.

That was a few years ago when he was around two and a half. While a challenge to explain my rationale behind my actions, he now understands the meaning of giving back to others less fortunate.

Yes, we clean out the playroom every few months, and I secretly put aside gifts he gets that I know would make another little boy or girl with absolutely nothing, ecstatic! He kind of understood that someone else was getting his used stuff. But, I think it really sunk in for him when we befriended a homeless man near our house.

Most parents do not encourage their children to talk to strangers, and most of the time I am one of them. But then we met MJ, a homeless man living in the woods around our nearest shopping center who has only a rusty shopping cart to call his own, along with his only possessions that fit inside.

Our first encounter was when we were walking to the store which we often do when the weather is nice. At first, I was a little nervous given his close proximity to the sidewalk we had to walk down to get to our destination. I had seen him around from time to time but not this close. He wasn’t moving and why should he – that’s the spot he calls home most days unless it’s raining. So, we kept walking and when we got closer he smiled and looked at my son. He looked normal and even had a belly on him, so I was hopeful others were looking after him. It was around lunch time, and I knew we would have to walk back past him with our groceries so I stopped suddenly and asked him if he would like lunch. His eyes lit up, and he said ever so politely, “Yes ma’am, that would be great.” I told him where we were going, and he knew right away what his meal of choice was from that store: hot chicken wings, potato salad, and a lemon-lime soda. I told him we’d be back, and I grabbed my son’s hand and walked away.

My son didn’t know what to say at first, and then he asked, “Mom, who was that man and why was he laying on a box in the grass?” That’s where it all began. I started to explain that not everyone is lucky to have a roof over their head like we do. Not everyone has breakfast, lunch and dinner routinely. Not everyone has money to buy groceries or toys like we do. “Why not?” he asked. I went on to explain sometimes things happen to people that change their lives for the good and bad. We don’t know the backstory of why MJ is on the streets, but he sure was appreciative when we showed up with lunch and 12-pack of his favorite soft drink.

I examined his belongings and noticed he didn’t have anything warm and it was about to turn cold. When we got home, we went through our closets and found blankets and towels, and even a few sweatshirts and a nice coat my husband was no longer wearing. The next day we drove back up and gave him a few items of clothing. I introduced myself and my son and learned his name was MJ. He thanked us and gave us a big smile.

The next week was Thanksgiving. My family knows I hate to waste food. So, much to my delight, I knew exactly where this year’s leftovers were going – to someone who probably hasn’t had a home-cooked meal, much less a Thanksgiving plate in a while. While the meal was delicious and the leftovers would make great sandwiches, I knew I would I enjoy it far less than he would. My son asked if he could come with me to deliver it this time. He did just that and, this time, rolled down the car window, waved at MJ and watched me take him the plate of food. I wasn’t expecting a hug, but that’s exactly what I got.

It’s been two years and we regularly take MJ food. I’ve seen others do the same which is a relief as I can’t manage to do this every day or even every week sometimes. My son often asks where he goes when the weather is nasty out, and I hate the thought of it. I would never put my family at risk by having MJ come to our house – never, though the thought has crossed my mind. He is still a complete stranger, though a gracious one. But, I wish the local hotels would do something to provide one room in their property for people like MJ, who would do anything for a hot shower once in a while and a place to find shelter that isn’t a bank drive-thru when Mother Nature comes calling.

Now when I see my son’s school is doing a book drive or a canned food drive, before I can ask him about it, he is quick to ask me what we can bring to donate. He helps me clean his bookshelves and pick out books he can do without. He helps me look through the pantry for things that another family doesn’t have a stockpile of in their own pantry. At Christmas time, he helps me shop for our angel tree family with three kids who not only need toys but clothes and everyday supplies we take for granted like toothpaste and shampoo.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a great childhood but, I grew up with very little. My mom didn’t make a lot of money but had food on the table for my brother and me every meal. We had a very small house and a car that barely ran. I was on the receiving end of hand me downs and didn’t have much to give back in return. I believe it ingrained in me my desire to give back and help others. It’s one of the reasons I work so hard and am so frugal in our spending, and why I want my son to understand how fortunate he is.

I wouldn’t recommend my approach to everyone. My husband wasn’t pleased with it when I told him what we had done, and I can’t blame him. This is a crazy world we live in today. But, I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, and I’m proud to teach my son life lessons he will always remember.

And, we made a new friend.

Kerry Schicker
Boy mom. Household CEO. Corporate leader. Outdoor lover. Social seeker. Sun worshipper. Curious traveler. Champagne enthusiast. These words describe me, Kerry Schicker, and contributor for Jacksonville Mom. I first approached founders Vicky and Megan after a heartbreaking miscarriage a few years ago. I had a very unpleasant experience with my OB at the time and I needed to get it off my chest so I wrote an anonymous blog that resonated with some of our readers. I have since written dozens of blogs mostly about motherhood. I have a passion for writing. My 20-year career has grown through some form of writing including TV news reporting and producing, magazine publishing, public relations, advertising, marketing, blogging and my current day job doing HR and employee communications for a Fortune 300 FinTech company. I am thankful that Jacksonville has such a supportive community for moms like me, and I can't imagine raising my two boys anywhere else.

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