Self Care for Busy Mamas: A Tongue-in-Cheek Guide

Hello, Mama. Do you have young children? Do you spend the majority of your day wiping, putting away, making meals and snacks, cleaning up from meals and snacks, drying everyone’s tears, over and over again? Do you barely have a spare minute to inhale a protein bar?

You know what I bet you need? A yoga retreat! A spa day! A mani/pedi! A bubble bath! Oh wait, you have more dry shampoo on your head than hair? You’d rather sleep than shower? We got you, Mama. Here are some more realistic ways to practice “self-care” during this crazy time called motherhood.

The baby’s diaper has blown out through his pajamas and onto the only pair of jeans that you can squeeze into postpartum. Your potty-trained toddler promptly poops on the floor in a mad sprint to the bathroom. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and cherish this special time, Mama.

Make time for skincare! When you’re moisturizing the baby with that $15 bottle of ultra-rich-but-oh-so-gentle baby lotion, rub the leftovers into your hands. If you got confused and accidentally just rubbed diaper cream into your cuticles… it’ll work just as well. Probably.

Can’t fill from an empty cup, Mama. Make sure yours is full and order yourself a gourmet coffee from the Chick-fil-A drive-thru.

Turn off the lights in the kitchen, and visualize that someone else cleaned it. #manifest

When your toddler refuses to even lick the colorful vegetables you painstakingly chopped and artfully arranged into a rainbow, do not get upset. Give him Goldfish crackers instead, and post your veggie masterpiece on Instagram. (Suggested hashtags: #eatincolor #tastetherainbow) Enjoy the Likes and comments about how you are doing a great job. You deserve the affirmation, Mama.

Just say NO to the sensory rice bin. Trust me.

Close the door when you use the bathroom and pretend no one will open it asking for snacks. PRO TIP: If you have two bathrooms, alternate which one you use to throw the kids off of your trail.

Eat a banana instead of your toddler’s veggie straws. #newyearnewyou

When out at a play place, check Instagram and Facebook confidently and with boldness, as if your child will not immediately fall off of something the second you do.

Sit down on the couch to feed your baby instead of standing at your kitchen island, spoon-feeding your fully capable toddler cottage cheese with one hand and holding the nursing baby with your other arm. Later, when you find that your toddler has made “hot cottage cheese” by spreading it inside a pan and across the kitchen floor using markers as utensils, remember how nice the couch was. #restandrelax

Delete the meditation app that’s making you feel guilty off of your phone once and for all.

That time in the car when the kids are strapped in, but you’re still parked? That’s YOU TIME, Mama. Open a protein bar, and actually eat it! Drink some water! Pretend to look up directions, but mindlessly catch up on texts instead! Go crazy, and maybe even send one!

Go into the baby’s room to “fold laundry,” but take a nap on the floor instead.

Repeat after me: “Oh, no! Only DADDY’s phone has that song!”

How do you fit in those precious self-care moments, Mamas? Comment with your tips!