In recent months, a group of blogs have popped up with lists outlining the things parents want to tell their children – What 10 Things Daughters Need to Hear From Their Dads, The Top Things I Want My Teenage Daughter to Know. A few of them even suggest things they wish they could go back and tell their younger selves.
Reading these got me to thinking about what it is I really want my daughter to know. Although I love the practical thoughts on the big life lessons I need to tell her, I find myself going back to the stuff that doesn’t necessarily come in parenting books or self-help guides. I call it my “Street Smarts Guide to Growing Up Girl.” Since I can’t go back and tell my younger self these “life lessons”, I’m keeping a list for my twelve-year-old. Some are appropriate now and some we’ll save for later.
Pick Your Friends With Music – Get in the car with your friend and turn on the song, “Alone” by Heart. I know it’s “Old People Music” but trust me, it’s great for car singing. You’ll be convinced you sound just like the lead singer. You don’t. If your friend is willing to tell you that you didn’t quite hit the high note, but then proceeds to sing along at the top of her lungs with you, hold onto her. She’s supportive but still honest. Love her forever.
If Someone Says They’ll Punch You, Believe Them – When I was in elementary school, I was being particularly annoying about my knowledge on a certain subject. A boy in my class looked me straight in the eye and told me he was going to punch me in the face. I thought he was lying and continued my annoyance. He pulled his fist back and punched me right in the nose. Was it right? No. Should I have trusted he meant what he said? Yes.
Which leads me to…
Don’t Be a Know It All – You can be smart without being annoying about it. Listen to other people’s opinions and choose your words carefully or just choose not to say anything at all. It just might save you a bloody nose.
Follow Your Dreams – But Only Until It’s Stupid – Dream big and go after the things that inspire you, but your Dad once told me that there’s a very fine line between artist and homeless. Do what you love with a backup plan because your backup plan is not to live in my home forever. I have a post-kid travel agenda just waiting for you and your brother to get out.
Classy Girls Don’t Kiss in Bars, You Fool – Some good truth from a great band, The Lumineers. They also don’t twerk or do anything else on tables in bars but eat.
Tattoos Are Forever – Yes, I know this sounds hypocritical since I have three of my own. Here’s the thing. Two of them were well thought out. One was permanently applied my freshman year of college. It was ten years post tattoo before I knew that it was a picture of a lunar eclipse and not just a cool sun with a pretty purple center. Not exactly the picture of sound decision making.
Certain Clothes Aren’t Meant for College Football Games – I’m no prude, but if there’s a chance your panties will show when cheering on your team, just say no.
Bras Aren’t Optional – Ever
Choose Your Footwear Carefully – I love High Heels. They have a place in our society. Theme Parks and the above mentioned football games are not those places. Your feet will thank me for this advice one day.
Always Say Yes to Cheesecake – It doesn’t matter if you’re on a diet or really full. The answer is always yes. In 38 years, I’ve been happy with that decision. Every. Single. Time.
To ensure I’ve covered everything, here are a few additional things to consider. You don’t have to avoid them at all cost, but you should know there might be consequences: Port-a-potties at music festivals, boys who never wear shirts, cheap keg beer, blunt cut bangs, pets before you have a real job, expensive bottled water (it’s just water), carnies and the rides they put together in 2 hours, most things sold on the side of the road, and people who start every event with the words “let’s do shots.”
For all the big stuff like heartbreak, sex, and major life decisions, we’ll talk about those in person after I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine and taken a few deep breaths.
