‘Someone’s Gotta Pay The Bills!’ (and Other Well-Meaning Comments That Grind My Gears)

Ever since I left my full-time job as a morning meteorologist, I’ve noticed a certain phrase pop up a lot — especially when I’m out and about with my two little ones.

The scene usually goes like this: The kiddos and I are enjoying a sunny stroll through the park or tackling our weekly grocery run, when a friendly face strikes up a conversation. “What’s your husband up to today?” they casually ask. I smile and explain that he’s at work. That’s when they chuckle and deliver the zinger: “Well, someone’s gotta pay the bills!”

I know it’s meant to be lighthearted. I know people don’t mean any harm. But can I be honest for a second? It irritates the heck out of me.

It’s like a cousin to the classic, “Oh, enjoy it — they grow up so fast!” comment as I’m navigating Target, one eye on the cart and the other on my kids, who have somehow managed to disappear into two separate aisles at the same time. Sure, I understand the sentiment, but in the moment, as I’m elbow-deep in toddler chaos and just trying to keep everyone alive until nap time, it’s not exactly the encouragement I’m looking for.

The Invisible Workload

Leaving my career in TV didn’t mean I left behind work. If anything, the workload has shifted into overdrive. Raising young children full-time is not for the faint of heart. It’s physical, emotional, and all-consuming in ways I never imagined. Yet, I absolutely love it. While I’m also freelancing on the side and finding some ways to contribute financially, my primary job is pouring every ounce of energy into raising kind, curious, and well-loved little humans.

It’s 100% a team effort, and I’m beyond grateful my husband has never made me feel “less than” for stepping away from my career or not bringing in the bigger paycheck. In fact, he’s my biggest cheerleader — always reminding me that what I’m doing at home is invaluable. That support means everything because, let’s be honest, sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m doing enough.

When people toss out, “Well, someone’s gotta pay the bills!” it brushes up against a deeper tension I’ve been working through. It’s the clash between what society tends to value versus what I value in this season of life.

On paper, I left a job that looked like “success.” It came with recognition, a paycheck, and the prestige of a title. Those are extrinsic values — the things society tends to celebrate and measure. When I traded that to stay home with my kids for the time being, I chose to embrace intrinsic values instead. This is a conversation my husband and I have had frequently.

For me, those priceless intrinsic values are the moments of pure connection when my toddler hugs me out of the blue. They’re the bedtime snuggles without the anxiety of a 2 a.m. alarm, the science experiments at the kitchen table, and the lessons I’m teaching my kids every single day about kindness, resilience, and love. These “things” don’t show up on a paycheck.

Still, the world often doesn’t see it that way. Comments like “someone’s gotta work” suggest that my worth — or at least the worth of my work — depends on bringing dollars into the bank account. If I let that perspective shape how I see myself, I’d miss the bigger picture.

Because here’s the truth: Yes, my husband works hard, and his job provides us with the opportunity to enjoy the lifestyle we have. I couldn’t be more grateful. I also have to remind myself that I’m also working hard and pouring everything I have into raising two incredible humans.

It’s not a competition; it’s a team effort. The values we hold as a family — both intrinsic and extrinsic — make us stronger together.

A Dose of Humor (Because I’m “Miss Sunshine”)

So, to the well-meaning strangers who think they’re cracking a joke: I get it. Money doesn’t grow on trees, and yes, someone does need to work. However, let me flip the script:

• Someone needs to wipe the noses.
• Someone needs to calm the snack emergency.
• Someone needs to conquer Mount Laundry and the Tower of Dirty Dishes.
• Someone needs to find toys in hiding spots you didn’t even know existed.

That “someone” is me — and a whole lot of other mamas (and dadas) who are doing their absolute best every single day.

Let’s Rethink the Script

Instead of tossing out comments like “someone’s gotta pay the bills,” let’s rethink what we say. How about:

• “You’re doing an amazing job.”
• “Your kiddos are so lucky to have you.”
• “How are you doing today?”

A touch of kindness and understanding goes a long way, especially when you catch me in the middle of untangling a lollipop from someone’s hair. Everyone’s situation is different, and this tiny blip of life with our littles is so temporary and precious.

I’ll keep laughing off the “someone’s gotta work” because that’s what moms do — we take the lighthearted jabs, brush them aside, and keep going. Just know, next time you see a mama with her hands full and her spouse is at work, we’re not just “out here.” We’re working, too — shaping hearts and futures, one sticky finger at a time.

And that “work” is worth more than any paycheck I’ve ever received.