I feel very blessed to have three siblings. While we definitely don’t agree on everything, we know we have each other’s backs, and would do anything for each other. You just can’t beat having the same shared history! I pray daily that my kids will be close.
However, I have learned with my kids that sometimes all that togetherness can get a little bit claustrophobic, and the inevitable bickering and annoying each other can get well… annoying, fast!
In addition, sometimes life becomes more about managing children and all of their activities, meals, and school work and less about connecting with each kid, on their level. I’ve realized that “alone time” with just one kid makes everyone happy.
When my kids were tiny (right now they are 12, 10, and 8), a simple trip to get an Icee or a donut with mom or a trip to Lowe’s with dad was super fun (and let’s be honest, those things are still fun). Even tonight, I was working on a rather large project for the school PTA and my 8-year-old got pretty chatty as she helped me, and it was great to hear her “voice.”
However, as they are growing, I find it fun to have a longer outing with each child. It doesn’t have to be often, maybe just once or twice a year, but it gives them time to talk about things they may have on their mind, and if they don’t have anything pressing, it’s fun to just enjoy their personalities without having anyone else compete for my attention.
For Christmas last year, my son’s gift from my husband and I was an overnight trip to a Disney resort, and he got to make a droid at Hollywood Studios. My son and I clash often (I’m learning how to effectively parent a strong-willed child), so my husband deferred to me and let me take him. It was SO refreshing to just hang out with him. He loves resorts, so we didn’t spend much time in the parks that trip, other than to make his droid. We had the best time swimming, enjoying the animals at the resort, and playing ping pong and corn hole. We played Disney’s new card game Lorcana, and slept in (he has hit that preteen phase of sleeping until noon). My favorite part though, was that I got to laugh at his sarcasm because it wasn’t aimed at his sisters! It was a trip at his pace, and he got to make all the choices. He thanked me so many times I lost count. He was a different kid away from the competition of the siblings’ group!
Last weekend was my youngest daughter’s birthday, and unfortunately for her (first-world problems, I know), her older sister had a softball tournament. However, the tournament happened to be in Orlando, so Disney was the perfect place for her and me to celebrate her birthday while the other three members of the family went to the tournament (we happen to be annual pass holders, and I’m a travel planner specializing in Disney, so we are there a lot). Her eyes grew so big when I told her we could ride anything she wanted, and she was allowed to pick all the food stops and have as many treats as she could handle that day. She actually ended up having a hard time deciding, and I think that’s in part due to the fact that she usually defers to her older siblings!
My husband and I also do one one-on-ones when we are on vacation on Anna Maria Island every summer. Mini golf, painting (fake) sand dollars at a local shop, ice cream on the boardwalk, or shopping in the kitschy stores make simple memories, too.
One of my favorite things is how they usually want to buy their siblings a treat while we are out, and their excitement to show each other their new treasures when we arrive back together.
I can’t wait to see where we go next.
Where is your favorite place to go with your kids?