The Gender Debate: to Reveal or Wait?

It’s difficult putting into words the feelings I’ve had for the past 6 weeks. I had an abdominal ultrasound at 12 weeks, and the sonographer was 90% sure it was a girl! He was a girl. He had been a girl all along!

Gender RevealI had pretty much convinced myself that we were having another boy (even though my pregnancy has been entirely different than the previous two). And to be honest, I was perfectly alright with that. The same sonographer predicted the sex of both our boys at the same gestational age, and we shared it with the world right away. But this time I quietly filed the news away, and have been desperately trying to process it ever since.

It would be so easy to have another boy – we’re already up to our ears in camouflage and monster trucks, superheroes and Legos, trains and soccer balls. You’ll find no dresses, magic wands, or baby dolls here. The fact that my 3 year old son’s favorite movie is Frozen, and he can sing all the songs is besides the point. I simply wasn’t ready to accept that we’d be adding a little girl into our chaotic life.

JMB_Gender Reveal Collage

At first I wasn’t sure why because I’d always wanted a daughter. I never had a sister growing up, and have since longed for a daughter. I began to realize I wasn’t at all scared about having a little girl. Instead, I was ready to enter into an alternate world currently unknown to me that included hair bows, smocked dresses, and princesses. My fear was in the 10% chance that we were in fact having another boy! I guarded my feelings and my heart because I didn’t want to be disappointed this week (now 18 weeks) if the sonographer came back to tell us it actually was a boy. You see I love having boys, admittedly momma’s boys, so I kept my feelings inside. We would be beyond blessed regardless of the baby’s gender.

We found out this week that we are for sure having a daughter! Thanks goodness because I secretly started shopping a few weeks ago. It’s dangerous for a woman to hear she’s having a girl after almost 5 years of buying cargo shorts, graphic tees, and Crocs. We are overjoyed that a little princess will finally make our family complete!

Gender Reveal

Having a personality that likes to plan, I’ve always been a huge proponent of finding out the baby’s gender as soon as it’s possible. I respect those who wait until they’re in the delivery room to have that moment, I’ve just always preferred to know much sooner. I respect them, I just never understood them. However, now I’m understanding why some people choose to wait with all the undue worry and stress I’ve put on myself over the past 6 weeks. During this waiting period I’ve found myself wishing I had no idea of the gender because I really don’t mind either way, healthy is what we’re praying for. On the flip side, I’m excited to get on Pinterest and start designing a nursery and browse etsy for newborn photo props.

What’s your stance on finding out the baby’s gender? Do you like to find out right away or prefer to be surprised?

Nicole O
A Gulf Coast Florida native, Nicole relocated to Jacksonville to earn her Nursing Degree at the University of North Florida (UNF). It was there she met her football-loving husband, even though they didn’t date or marry until many years later. She is currently living out her dream of being a stay-at-home mom to their three beautiful, blue-eyed children (Liam, 6, Declan, 4, Leighton, 1). Their daughter made a dramatic debut in October 2014 arriving 17 weeks early following a car accident due to a placental abruption. After spending 4 months in the NICU and coming home on oxygen, they recently celebrated Leighton's first birthday. Prior to becoming a Lego enthusiast and referee, she enjoyed her role as a Clinical Specialist for St. Jude Medical. An athlete her entire life, it wasn’t until after she started having children that Nicole discovered her love of running. She's completed many 1/2 marathons, a marathon and a couple sprint triathlons, with a goal to finish a 1/2 Ironman in 2016. When she’s not snapping photos, she enjoys attempting a Pinterest project, an occasional glass of wine, or a night out with friends. This mom loves to plan and organize everything, except what’s for dinner!


  1. I’m so happy for you that a little lady will be added to your testosterone filled home! 🙂 We didn’t find out with our first & opted to find out with the second. Two very different events all the way around & I wouldn’t change it for the world! Congrats Nicole!

  2. I’m with you, I found the sex of both babies as soon as possible. With both, we were told a best guess on sex at 12 weeks, and both guesses were correct. I always pictured myself as a mom to a girl, so when my first was a girl, I was so excited. When I found out I was a having a boy second, it took some time process. I was glad I had the six weeks between the ‘guess’ and confirmation to get my head around it. I can’t imagine waiting until delivery to find out, I loved planning!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here