I was recently having a conversation with a close friend who told me about her 13-year-old daughter’s new friend who is “so kind and generous.” “Every time they go out she buys her things. She just got her a bunch of new underwear and jewelry.” I asked her if she thought that was strange. Did she wonder why a young girl without a job would be showering her new friend with gifts? Was she curious why this girl was buying her daughter underwear? No, she just thought it was nice.
I hated to break it to her that it was likely her daughter and friend had been shoplifting. But as someone who has watched more than my fair share of teens try to shoplift from my store, this was a huge red flag. Just like any hurtful activity, no one wants to believe that their child is stealing. However, in one survey, 1 in 4 teens admitted to shoplifting at least once, and 97% of the teens surveyed know someone who shoplifts regularly. On TikTok, one can easily find “Lifters” bragging about their hauls of stolen merchandise and offering tips. It’s so ubiquitous that kids might think it’s cool, something that everyone does, or that it’s no big deal.
But it is — shoplifting affects us all. Retailers work on slim margins, especially small local businesses. Increased “shrinkage” (the industry term for breakage and theft) means those margins have to be recovered somehow and that usually means increased pricing for everyone else. Many “lifters” admit they don’t even need or want the things they take, they just take them for fun. This adds to waste, overconsumption, and unnecessary burdens on stores and manufacturers. Many large chains have announced store closures due to rampant shoplifting, meaning people in those communities have less access to shopping. For me, a small business owner, shoplifting quite literally takes food from my family’s mouth.
What can seem like innocent teenage shenanigans can have real consequences for the kids, too. Maybe you suspect your child or their friends have tried shoplifting, but you’re thinking, “It could be worse; shoplifting isn’t that bad.” A lot of news reports came out that stores don’t call the police or prosecute shoplifters. That is incorrect. Store owners do, in fact, call the police. Once the police are called, the store owner may decide to press charges. Shoplifting charges at best will lead to fines and community service, and at worst can prevent your child from being admitted to college or from getting a job. Because my store is in a small town, I often know the parents of the shoplifters and have never hesitated to call a mom and let them know what their kid is up to. We also post security camera footage to our TikTok. Being caught shoplifting is the opposite of cool and is usually a deterrent from future shoplifting.
What’s even scarier is that more and more store owners in Florida are armed behind the register. It’s not hard to imagine a scenario where a child could end up gravely hurt by trying to commit a crime. In a 2023 speech in California, President Trump said, “Very simply: If you rob a store, you can fully expect to be shot as you are leaving that store.” I’m not saying this to be political or as hyperbole but to help fellow moms understand the culture and consequences around theft.
As with many other unsavory things our children like to try, social media has proliferated a lot of incorrect messaging around shoplifting and provided a lot of encouragement and tips. What red flags can you look for to know if your child or a friend is potentially shoplifting? First, like my friend’s daughter, bringing home a lot of new items that are easy to steal — underwear, jewelry, lip gloss, Thinking Putty (this is what we catch kids trying to steal most often at our store) — is a reason to ask questions. Next, are the new items they are bringing home missing tags? Are they in store bags? If not, that’s also cause for concern. When was the last time you went shopping and popped all the tags and threw away the bag before you got home? Thieves also use phrases like “lifting,” “racking,” or “borrowing.”
Moms, even if you don’t think your child has been shoplifting, it doesn’t hurt to have a conversation about it and its consequences. It’s not just free stuff, it hurts real people and communities, and it can hurt them, too.
