Dear Dads, Put Mom in the Picture

Many weekends, my family can be found out exploring Jacksonville. We’ll go somewhere like the Jacksonville Zoo, the Museum of Science and History, explore downtown… or we might do something fun at home. Whatever the circumstance, like most parents, we think it’s important to make memories with and for our children.

And what happens when we’re doing these things? If you’re anything like me, then you already know. I’m always behind the camera, taking countless pictures. Pictures of my kids playing. Pictures of my husband holding them. But you know who is almost never in the picture? Me. And judging by the newsfeeds of my friends, this is not something unique to my family.

Let’s be honest: Us moms, we’re not always anxious to be in front of the camera. Maybe we just don’t think about it. Maybe we’re feeling insecure about our appearance. We might get a few posed pictures here and there, but by and large, moms are left out of the picture — unless we’re taking selfies, of course. Almost all of my pictures with my kids are selfies.

One day, my kids are going to grow up. And one day, I won’t be here anymore. I want them to be able to remember the time we spent together — not just the big events, but the little things. I want them to be able to see the way we snuggled under blankets, reading books and watching movies. I want them to be able to see how I held them when they were scared. I want them to be able to see me, the mother that I am, in all of my glorious imperfections, and be taken back to their childhood. I do not want to leave this world with nothing left behind for my children to remember of me except the memories that live on in their heads. I don’t want to be the invisible woman behind the camera, always creating memories and taking the photos. For that to happen, dads have got to step up. And they’ve got to take the initiative themselves, too, because let’s be real… no one is going to stop and ask for a picture whenever they’re doing something photo-worthy. No one should have to do that, for starters, and even if they did, how awkward is that?

Maybe taking family pictures is something that doesn’t come as easily to dads as it does to moms. But dads, do us moms a favor: Every now and then, pick up your phone and take a picture. Don’t ask her first. Don’t wait for staged moments where her hair is perfectly coiffed and her makeup is done. Take pictures when mom is feeding the baby, even when the baby has sprayed mashed pears all over her. Those pictures will make them both laugh one day. Take pictures when mom is giving them a piggyback ride at the zoo. Take pictures when they build sandcastles at the beach. Take pictures when they’ve fallen asleep together on the couch.

It really doesn’t matter what the situation or occasion is; dads, just make sure to keep Mom in the picture. Don’t let her be forgotten.

Cassy Fiano-Chesser
Cassy Fiano-Chesser is a Jacksonville native and mom to six kids. Her husband is a Marine Corps veteran and Purple Heart recipient. She works from home as a blogger and a freelance writer, and they currently live in the Argyle area of Jacksonville. Benjamin is their oldest, born in 2011, and he loves being a big brother. Wyatt was born in 2012, and he has Down syndrome. Ivy came next, in 2013, followed by Clara, born in 2015, who is a diva-with-a-capital-D. Rounding out the brood is Felicity, born in 2017, and Lilly, born in 2007. They love discovering things to do on the First Coast and going on family adventures, as well as cheering on the Jumbo Shrimp and the Icemen.

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