I created five questions for my 12-year-old son, Donovan, and me to sit down and answer together as we celebrate Pride Month. For our family, Pride is a time of celebration, representation, honoring those who came before us, and looking toward the future with hope. Everyone has their own journey, experiences, and opinions about how LGBTQIA+ people and families should be acknowledged.
In our home, Pride isn’t our identity, but it is a part of who we are. We celebrate by attending community events organized by local Jacksonville businesses and organizations, spending time with friends and family, and reflecting on the progress that has been made while recognizing there is still work to do.
Most importantly, Pride gives us an opportunity to have conversations like these. Now on to the questions:
Q: What does Pride mean to your family?
Ali: Pride means being our authentic selves, not only for our own happiness, but also to show others that they can do the same. We believe people are happiest when they are accepted for who they are, and we try to model that every day. Pride also means JOY. I love this month because the people that are many times going through the most seem to have an extra pep in their step in June.
Donovan: Pride month means candy and parades. And those scary guys with megaphones telling us we’re going to Hell.
Q: What has having two moms taught you about family?
Ali: I wish people understood that love is what makes a family. Just like many heterosexual couples, we needed medical intervention to start our family. Our children are our children, no matter how they came into this world. What matters is the love, commitment, and support that surrounds them every day.
Donovan: I don’t really think about having two moms very much. It’s just my family. And I would pick having two moms over having a dad.
Q: Why do you think Pride Month is still important today?
Ali: Representation and inclusion matter. When people can see themselves reflected in their communities, schools, workplaces, and media, it helps them feel like they belong. Donovan doesn’t often see families like his “in the wild” here in Neptune Beach, so we make an effort to go to Pride events to expose him to a world where, for a moment, his family is not different than everyone else.
Donovan: It brings hope back into Pride families’ hearts. It feels scary and really confusing sometimes when you learn what some people think about your family. People should just be kind to each other and think about how their words hurt people. Mean words don’t make people change; they just make them sad or hurt.
Q: If another kid asked you how to be a good friend to someone who is different from them, what would you tell them?
Donovan: Ask them about their interests and get to know them. Just treat them like everybody else. Also, stop using the word “gay” to make fun of people, and stop making fun of rainbow stuff. A friend brought rainbow popsicles to school for her birthday, and some of the boys wouldn’t eat them because it would make them “gay.” It hurts me because they are teasing a family like mine, whether they mean to or not. It’s kind of dumb. Just be a Skittle.
Q: What’s the funniest thing someone has ever said about having two moms?
Donovan: When I was little, a kid said, “Where is your Dad?” I said, “I don’t have one. I have two moms.” He got really upset and started crying. Then he said, “That’s not fair! I want two moms!” and then went running to tell his mom. It was funny because he didn’t think it was weird at all. He just thought I was getting a better deal than he was. Oh, and the other day, my mom and I were at a tiny Japanese restaurant, and an 8-year-old kid whose parents own the place walked up and stared at my mom and asked if she was a boy or a girl. She said “girl,” and then he asked where my dad was, and I told him I have two moms. He stared at us for a minute, and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, and all of a sudden, he asked if I wanted to race and started running around the restaurant showing us how fast he was, haha.
If there’s one thing children have taught me, it’s that they are often far more accepting than adults give them credit for. Most of the time, they aren’t focused on what makes someone different. They’re focused on whether you’re kind, whether you’ll play with them, and whether you’re willing to race around a restaurant after dinner.
Adults, on the other hand, tend to assign a heavier weight to sexual orientation and gender identity than children do. In doing so, we often create more attention and complexity around these topics than a child would naturally give them on their own. Make someone’s life easier, not harder. It’s that simple.
That’s a pretty good reminder for all of us this Pride Month.
About the Author
Ali Hall is a Jacksonville-based mom and business owner. She was born and raised in Atlantic Beach and now raises her two sons, Donovan (12) and Beckham (4) in Neptune Beach. Ali is passionate about community, kindness, and raising children with empathy and confidence. When she’s not working with clients or building her business, she can be found organizing or participating in fun community events around Jacksonville. Currently, she is helping organize a Guinness World Record for the world’s largest bike event. Follow her on Instagram @ali_halljax and watch Donovan’s Pokémon journey @donnymacho.
