Our Therapy Journey: I Was Worrying About the Wrong Child

Thank you to Beaches Nature Therapy for sponsoring this post and providing families with a hands-on approach to managing behavioral and learning challenges.

I always worried about my oldest son. Every developmental milestone, every quirk, every behavior that even remotely seemed out of the norm. I consulted Dr. Google. I played the comparison game. I asked for opinions. I came to every well-check with a mile-long list of questions that the pediatrician grew to expect from me. My son was a late walker (17 months) and never really crawled, but nevertheless, he’s been a pretty typical kid.

Fast forward to the birth of my youngest, and I just didn’t worry. As a baby, he cried a lot and had a healthy dose of acid reflux, but other than that, he seemed fine. Most notably, his vocabulary at 2 years old just seemed so advanced. He would properly use words like “literally” and pronounce words like “pineapple” with ease, and his preschool teachers were blown away. So, I didn’t worry. That is until the terrible 3s became the terrible 4s. Shouldn’t his wild tantrums lessen by now? Why is he so impulsive and explosive? Had I been worrying about the wrong son?

Although his preschool teachers described him as “a model student,” I was struggling tremendously with his behavior at home. After a particularly trying incident at Target that left us both in tears, I consulted our pediatrician. A brief questionnaire ruled out ADHD, but he suggested play therapy to help us better understand our son and develop some parenting strategies that might help both us and him.

Enter Beaches Nature Therapy. Many folks recommended BNT founder and occupational therapist Kristi Hinckley, and I immediately liked her approach. Our youngest enjoys all things nature (and dirt!). Although Beaches Nature Therapy specializes in children with ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder, they also work with children who have developmental delays, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, and autism spectrum disorder. They also help families (like ours) who have concerns about emotional regulation, executive function, motor skills, or social interactions but do not have a formal diagnosis.

The initial consultation includes a full play-based occupational therapy session with the child, a thorough questionnaire and evaluation, and a one-on-one session with the parents, as well as a plan of action. During our first session with Kristi at the beautiful Cradle Creek Preserve, she asked him questions and engaged him, letting him be the driver in the decision-making. To my son, they were just playing — everything from making a spiderweb out of string to sensory play, climbing, painting, obstacle courses, and digging for toy bugs. He loved it! And he was so well-behaved and agreeable, we weren’t sure if she’d gotten anything out of the session with him. But we quickly found that she was picking up on things we hadn’t noticed. He struggled with task initiation, remaining alert and focused, and sustaining effort during an activity. The assessment we filled out determined that he has some executive functioning deficits that could have a significant impact on his ability to perform daily activities — and she mentioned the word “neurodivergent.”

Hearing it said aloud about my child felt scary, but Kristi was instantly reassuring. Austin couldn’t wait to go play with Ms. Kristi, and throughout the next few sessions, we would receive recaps about what she noticed and some strategies we could implement to make things easier for all of us. This included a help hierarchy to aid in processing how to do an activity with minimal frustration and activation techniques for emotional regulation. Kristi also said she noticed some early signs of ADHD, but that many neurodivergent diagnoses can overlap — and some kids just need a little extra help navigating their emotions.

READ: How We Are Managing ADHD Family Life

One of the beauties of Beaches Nature Therapy is that we never discussed issues or diagnoses in front of our son. I never wanted him to think there was “something wrong” with him; he was just going to play with Ms. Kristi, and he learned some things along the way, even if he didn’t realize it at the time. I am grateful for the much-needed insight and tools to help our youngest — after all, knowledge is power and I feel far less helpless after our sessions. As he enters kindergarten next year, I am hopeful that we can continue to work with him on his executive functioning skills — and that I can serve as a source of empowerment moving forward!

More About Beaches Nature Therapy

Beaches Nature Therapy serves children and teens with ADHD and behavioral challenges. Through a range of options such as group, individual, nature-based, and in-office, they can improve problem-solving, impulse control, body awareness, and social relationships. Behind a kid who may appear lazy, defiant, or problematic is good kid who is missing essential skills around executive functioning. Click here to schedule a free consultation call.

LEARN MORE ABOUT BEACHES NATURE THERAPY

Special for Jacksonville Mom Readers

Mention Jacksonville Mom to receive $100 off an initial evaluation with Beaches Nature Therapy (making the cost $250), which includes a full play-based occupational therapy session with the child, a thorough questionnaire and evaluation, and a one-on-one session with the parents, as well as a plan of action.

Tina Smithers Peckham
Originally from Kansas City, Tina relocated to Jacksonville, FL with her dear husband, feisty cat and sweet-natured corgi mix in 2016. After eight years working various gigs in New York City from magazine publishing to digital marketing, Tina joined the world of freelance, writing and reporting for a variety of publications and websites including MTV News, ET Online, Glamour, Us Weekly and more. Tina has also assisted with social media, editorial and content strategy for brands and personalities such as Britney Spears, Jordin Sparks, Beauty Brands, truTV and WE tv. When she’s not plugging away on her laptop, she can be found exploring the Jacksonville beaches, reading a good book or enjoying a local coffee shop with her cherub-cheeked little boys, Archer and Austin.

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