According to recent blood work, I am in early menopause. After I picked my jaw off the floor, I started asking a lot of questions of my doctor. How did I get there? When did this happen? I was shocked to hear this because I don’t feel old enough to be in menopause. I always associated that phase of a woman’s life with being in your 50s, and I am not yet 50.
Menopause is a natural part of aging that marks the end of the female reproductive years. But like me, many people don’t know what to expect until they are in the midst of it or near the end of it. According to the Cleveland Clinic, you can experience symptoms up to a decade before menopause actually begins.
I tried to pinpoint the time or age when I might have started my perimenopause journey. I can remember about two or three years ago waking up one morning and hurting all over — like I had been hit by a bus. It never went away. I would wake up crying in pain and immediately take a very hot shower to help soothe my aches and pains. My sciatic nerve flared up for no reason. I blamed a new computer chair. I started seeing a chiropractor and got a new mattress at his recommendation. Nothing helped.
READ: The Dreaded ‘P’ Word
Knowing what I know now, this was the start of my menopause journey. At the same time, I wasn’t sleeping — I was waking up every few hours and was exhausted all of the time. I’ve never been a great sleeper, but this was different. I chalked night sweats and bloating up to eating too much or having too much wine. I couldn’t seem to lose weight even though I am an avid exerciser. My periods were pretty regular even after an unsuccessful ablation. And then an unexpected symptom started that led me to Google — and confirmation that my body was really transforming.
READ: My Endometrial Ablation Journey
It is reported that around 23% of menopausal women suffer from mood swings. And sometimes, these mood swings can be so severe that they are classified as menopause rage. Whoa — mind blown.
I couldn’t figure out why I was so angry and would snap at a moment’s notice. I snapped at my children for little things and sent them wondering why I was acting like a monster. I chewed out my husband more times than I care to admit. I had little patience for anything and everything. This was beyond getting a little cranky at the start of your cycle and being back to normal a few days later. I truly rage in anger and have emotional outbursts like a toddler.
This was the symptom that sent me over the edge and initially to my doctor to find out what was happening. I ended up going on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) shortly after. It’s been about three months and many of my symptoms are improving. I sleep through the night now. I don’t have night sweats. My joints still ache but not nearly as bad. The rage, however, is lurking.
I joined a few menopause groups on Facebook to see how others cope, and I found a website (simplymenopause.net) with helpful tips that might help manage the rage a little:
- Acknowledge your anger.
- Keep a journal of what triggers the rage.
- Practice meditation or yoga.
- Get regular exercise. (This one is key for me!)
- Eat a balanced diet.
- Drink lots of water. (When estrogen levels drop during perimenopause, the body’s ability to hold onto fluids diminishes. So, you may have to drink more water than before to keep your levels topped up.)
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Consider therapy or medication.
It’s easier said than done to manage an emotion that you can’t control. Your hormones are in charge now, and I try and remember that when I get all worked up. But it doesn’t always help control my rage.
I guess the good news is that menopause won’t last forever, and this too shall pass. I just hope I can find a balance between my hormone levels and my anger.
