Find Your Pink Again, Mama

Parenting can be the most rewarding and exhausting experience of your entire life. At times, it feels like you give everything you have, until there is nothing left to give. You can lose yourself to it. While we do “all the things” sincerely out of love, our previous identity can become a blur over time — lost in being “just” Mommy. If you lose sight of who you are and what makes you special, you can turn into a former shell of yourself. A silhouette just chugging along in the day-to-day.

In the animal world, believe it or not, this actually happens to flamingos. They lose their vibrant pink color when raising their young. The stress of being a mother literally drains them. They lose what everyone knows them for. They lose their “pink.”

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt that way, but I know I have. I can get so elbow-deep in #momlife sometimes that I unconsciously forgo all self-care or things that I enjoy. Not on purpose, of course. It’s just that familiar “I’ll get to it when I can” after everyone else’s needs are met. Which we know is often rare.

READ: The Outlet I Didn’t Know I (Desperately) Needed

Tickled Pink

Since graduating high school, my two best pals from childhood would come back down to Florida to visit. We’d have a few days a year or every couple of years together and make the most of the time we had. That has been our thing for *cough cough* almost 20 years now.

Fast forward to last spring. I shared the concert schedule of one of our favorite bands that included a Jacksonville show. Her response was, “Book a flight, I bought you a ticket for up here.” At first, I was over the moon excited. Then reality set in…

Feathered and Flustered

Who would take and pick up the kids from camp? The dog has a grooming appointment that Friday. We have two birthday parties on two different sides of town on Saturday. There’s a neighborhood cookout on Sunday that we need to bring a dish to. This would be the first time ever that I would be away from my family. After voicing my concerns to my husband, he calmly stated he wasn’t sure what the big deal was — as if that was nothing! He always manages to find time to fish or have quality time with friends, so why didn’t I? That’s when it clicked. Why the flock didn’t I? I’d spent so many years taking care of everyone else, why wouldn’t I deserve a break, too?

Spreading My Wings

It took some creativity with the logistics of the schedule, but I managed to get everything covered. I booked my first solo plane ticket, took my first Uber by myself at 4 a.m. to the airport, and had my first plane ride as a single rider since I was 10 years old, going to Grammy’s for the summer. It was scary but exhilarating. I only had to pack a weekend bag. There was no fighting over who got the window seat or what to watch on the iPad. I READ A BOOK. Like, the whole thing. When I got to my layover, there was only one person who needed to use the bathroom. I went and got a snack and an adult beverage and picked a killer spot to be able to people watch. It.was.awesome.

Birds of a Feather

When I arrived at my destination and was picked up by my friends, it was like we had never been apart, as always, but totally different. I was in a completely unfamiliar place, and I knew absolutely nothing about it. That was part of the fun! My typical Pinterest researching travel-planning obsessive personality had officially turned off and embraced being the passenger princess of a whole new world. I told them I was down for anything as long as I didn’t have to plan anything. It was so liberating.

Flamboyance

A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance. That could not have been a more appropriate description of my trip. We restaurant-hopped for different appetizers from dusk ’til dawn. We went to three different arts markets. We rode the trolley to see the skyscrapers and murals. We walked from the professional baseball stadium to the NFL stadium (stopping for drinks) just because we could. And we went to the zoo, because one of my besties is a zookeeper. Let me tell you, without pushing a stroller and carrying a backpack full of snacks, the zoo is a super cool place to be. And of course, we had the best time ever at our concert.

Balancing Life (On One Leg)

When I came home, I was so refreshed. I missed my family dearly, but it was nice to be just “me” for a moment, however long. I was not “Mommy” on this trip, I was Caitlyn, and I hadn’t seen her in a long time. It reminded me of who I am and what I want out of this life. My takeaway from this happening was that I need to slow down and enjoy life along with everyone. Not just help everyone enjoy theirs. How can I tell my munchkins to “be yourself” if I can’t do the same?

READ: Guilt-Free Girls’ Trip: Every Mama Deserves a Break

Let’s Flamingle!

If you have a chance to take a girls’ trip, don’t think about it — just go! Popping into your favorite store just for the fun of looking on lunch break? Strut your stuff! Picking up that bestseller *hoping* that you’ll be able to read it one day? Make it happen! Find your “you,” again. Do something to regain your pink. I promise you’ll come back shining brighter than ever.