True Life: I Use Medical Marijuana

medical marijuanaYour parents were right, marijuana is a gateway drug… to easing your adult anxiety.

It started when CBD first hit my nervous system and started to ease a lot of my anxiety in a manner that felt so much better to me than any prescription I had ever tried. The CBD was a trial and error of types, brands, and amounts, and eventually, I found my stride into a calmer, clearer world that I really enjoyed being in. The CBD worked. If you are unfamiliar with it, I highly suggest you look into it more or talk to a healthcare provider about what the benefits can be for you. I am only here to speak on what I have experienced and the help I have gained from it.

I took CBD without any THC for a couple of years and really found my stride — I felt I had a strong hold on my anxiety management, was actively involved in therapy, and truly felt great. Then something unexpected happened that caused a massive amount of anxiety to surface, which couldn’t be managed with therapy and CBD alone — I truly was in a PTSD type of way. It was then my therapist suggested looking into getting my medical marijuana card.

I sat on that information and suggestion for a bit before even bringing it up to my spouse. We are not recreational drug users and drink alcohol in minimal amounts. We are not prudes by any means, but personally, my days of smoking pot seemed distant and to the effects of showing up in someone’s college apartment, smoking whatever kind of pot they had, and calling it a night. I didn’t want to be my own version of a stoner — or for my kids to have a mom on drugs. I needed to be able to function and not worry that I was gonna pull an “Irish Goodbye” at my kid’s school presentation because I was higher than your mom at the original Woodstock. So before mentioning it to my spouse or friends, I went researching. I knew some people who used medical marijuana for various reasons and asked all the questions, Googled a ton, and took some time to just meditate on the idea.

I was an anxious mess, and it was not serving me or my family well. I knew I could be a better version of who I was, and I wanted that for myself and others around me. When I brought it up to my husband, he was in full support of me trying it out. That was all I needed. I made the appointment and headed in to get my medical marijuana card. It was weird. Let me be clear and say it was easy but weird. I spent time with the doctor and discussed why I was there and what my intentions were. I asked questions, a lot of questions. I didn’t know there were so many versions of pot and CBD with THC. I knew I didn’t want to smoke a bowl in order to get calmer, and I knew I wanted something that was discreet in front of others, especially my kids. The doctor helped me navigate what was best for me and what dosages I would need. A couple of weeks later, I had a license that said, “Your parents can’t ground you for weed anymore,” or something like that.

Personally, I decided on a CBD with THC. (For the quick read of this blog, medical CBD has varying ratios of CBD to THC.) I figured out what brand would be good, and then with the doctor’s help what dosage would be best for me. I went into the dispensary and looked around like a deer in headlights. Lucky for me, the man behind the desk was kind and helped out. I didn’t know anything from anything, so I handed him the paper the doctor gave me and said, “This is what I need.” When he asked if I wanted “flower,” I can’t tell you the look on my face, but I can tell you he knew I knew nothing. So he just went to get me my basic mom-who’s-trying-medical-marijuana order, and off I went.

It’s been over a year of using medical CBD to help my anxiety and PTSD, and I can’t imagine my life without it. I don’t think my family wants to imagine that either. I’m not “high” and haven’t left a party without saying goodbye (well I have but not because of the CBD), my kids don’t see me as a drug addict, and most importantly, I feel like myself again. It is still wild to me that I can buy drugs legally — WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! It is also still wild that there’s still a stigma attached to medical marijuana and who is using it and why. I know my why, and I know without it, I’m not sure I would be the wife, mother, friend, or coworker I am right now.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here