I’ve just dug myself out from the holiday season and the piles of extra school “fun“ that entails. Just when I think I can take a deep breath and not make another costume, attend another event, or sign up for another volunteer shift, I look at my calendar, and to my dismay, the next “fun“ school holiday is on the horizon. Before it gets here, I feel compelled to reach out on behalf of busy moms everywhere to employ you, dear Room Mom, to please take pity on us.
We dutifully participated when you sent an email on a Monday evening asking us to help our kids bake and individually wrap 36 cookies for the class by that Friday. “It will be so much fun for the kids to share their own family recipes,” you said. (To the mom who stuck two Oreos in a plastic bag for every kid — I salute you.) We stayed quiet when you said that handing the kids piles of handmade cookies on their way out the door for Winter Break would be “fun.” We made Christmas cards for the staff like you asked, brought in items for charity, and attended the Christmas caroling. All because you asked us to and reminded us that it would be “fun for the kids.”
READ: Room Momming 101: A Guide to Being a Supportive Room Parent
I know it can be frustrating when you put out a call-to-action and hear crickets in response. We love our kids as much as you do, but some of us just have less capacity to take on additional volunteer duties. It becomes a game of filtering through the many asks to decide what to focus our limited resources on. We want to help, but sometimes your great ideas cause an unnecessary burden to well-meaning parents.
It’s not that we don’t appreciate you. We don’t have the time to coordinate the teachers’ birthday celebrations, the volunteer opportunities, and all of the additional things the teacher relies on the Room Parent for. We’re glad you’re there, with your perpetually cheerful emails. But when the teacher asks you to come up with special activities, please ask yourself the same questions I tell my kids to ask before they say something: Is it kind? Is it helpful? Is it necessary?
Please don’t request that our kids only bring in handmade Valentines, or that we all cook and serve a black-tie banquet during Teacher Appreciation Week, and we promise to ignore your requests a little less often.
