On May 27, 2015, four words shattered our world: “Your daughter has cancer.” Our daughter, Marjorie, was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma at Wolfson’s Children’s Hospital. The first few days were a whirlwind of ORs, tubes, breathing ventilators, and an overwhelming amount of prayers, gifts, and love.
During that time, a nurse came in with a backpack filled with pediatric cancer magnets and various items. I wanted to throw it back at the kind nurse. I was so angry my baby had cancer. I did not want to be in the club. I did not want the backpack. I sat silent and numb, running my fingertips across the rippled thread of the backpack’s monogram: THE TOM COUGHLIN JAY FUND.
I thanked the nurse, set the backpack aside, and went back to caring for my baby girl. The backpack eventually became part of our hospital luggage set as I shoved my extra jackets and hospital caregiver necessities into it for quick transport.
As Marjorie finished chemotherapy, and we moved back home, the backpack became my go-to travel carry-on. Waiting at a JAX airport carousel late one night, a woman approached me. “Do you work for The Jay Fund?”
Caught off guard, I looked at my backpack and tears filled my eyes. “My daughter had cancer,” I said through tears. She smiled, and we talked about the amazing work The Jay Fund does for cancer families like mine. I got to my car and broke down.
When children finish their chemotherapy, everyone celebrates. YOU BEAT CANCER! What many do not realize is that your child’s cancer does not end when you ring the proverbial chemo bell. Marjorie endured years of nuclear injections, sedation, and scans on a frequent basis. In addition to the ongoing scans, the mental aftermath is torture for caregivers. Research also shows that parents of children receiving cancer treatment often develop stress-related symptoms. It isn’t just parents who get PTSD. Spouses, children, and other types of caregivers are also at risk.
No one talked to us about the stress that caregivers endure. I went on to develop C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), which left me living in a constant state of hypervigilance, anxiety, and a deep “knowing” that cancer was coming back.
It took me years to understand it was not normal to live preparing for the worst to happen. It took years for me to find a therapist who made me feel safe enough to start doing the hard work to heal cancer’s deep and invisible wounds. Deep down, I always knew I wanted to pay it forward, but I also knew I had to heal first.
Running, walking, and sobbing on the beach were an integral part of healing my CPTSD. In March, 2024, The Tom Coughlin Jay Fund posted about their NYC Marathon team. The post sent me back to our hospital room in May 2015, when I was handed a Jay Fund backpack.
Something about running for The Tom Coughlin Jay Fund felt truly full circle. They were there on our worst days, and now I can pay it forward to help other families in the throes of pediatric cancer. It was more than just a marathon finish line. It was a journey of healing, raising funds to support others, and honoring all of the amazing children we have lost.
Show Your Support: Attend the TCJF Wine Tasting Gala
I hope you will consider joining us for the annual Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Wine Tasting Gala, which is returning to the field at EverBank Stadium on Thursday, February 27, 6:30–9:30 p.m — tickets are on sale now!
Southern Glazer’s Wine & Spirits has curated hundreds of fine and artisanal wines from around the world to excite aficionados and novices alike. The evening also features dishes from Northeast Florida’s top restaurants, with a blend of classic southern comfort foods, flavors of the coast, and a dash of international flair.
Join us on the gridiron and show your support for local families tackling childhood cancer. Dollars raised through the Wine Tasting Gala provide financial, emotional, and practical support for these families, ensuring they never feel alone.
About the Author
McCall Dempsey, founder of Southern Smash, is an eating disorder survivor and passionate recovery advocate. After a 15-year battle, McCall sought treatment in December 2010. Since then she has made eating disorder awareness and prevention her life’s work and passion. McCall travels the country, sharing her story of hope and healing with audiences everywhere. She also writes the popular blog, Loving Imperfection. McCall been featured on various national television, print and online publications, including the TODAY show, Women’s Health Online, and Huffington Post. A Louisiana native, McCall now resides in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, with her husband, Jordan, and her two children, Manning and Marjorie.
