APRIL FOOLS!
Just when we thought 2025 couldn’t get weirder, here comes a surprise announcement from the Duval County Department of Coastal Aesthetics (yes, that’s apparently a thing): Jacksonville’s beaches — including Neptune, Atlantic, and Jacksonville Beach — will be closed starting Memorial Day Weekend through Labor Day for a massive “reshelling” project.
According to county officials, the goal is to replenish and “reimagine” the texture and appearance of our sand by bringing in a fresh mix of hand-curated seashells from the Gulf Coast.
A representative from the project said, “We’ve received numerous complaints over the years that the sand is too hot, too scratchy, or too bland for Instagram. We’re correcting that by importing a more ‘aesthetically pleasing and barefoot-friendly shell mix.'”
What does that mean for us?
No beach access.
No sunrise walks.
No sandcastle competitions.
No dragging your toddler across burning-hot sand while carrying four chairs, a cooler, and a beach tent you forgot how to open.
READ: 20 Must-Have Accessories for This Mama and Her Beach Brood
The project will include bulldozers, shell sifters, shell fluffers (that’s a thing now), and — get this — beach-themed scent diffusers to “enhance the sensory experience” when the beaches reopen.
And while that all sounds, um… shell-icious… we have some questions.
- Where are these seashells coming from?
- Why is “scented sand” even a thing?
- How do we explain this to our kids when they want to “just run in real quick, I won’t even get wet I swear”?
But before you start rescheduling your summer plans or rage-posting in your neighborhood Facebook group or ours…
Happy April Fools’ Day from Jacksonville Mom.
The only thing we’re shelling out today is some laughter (and maybe a mimosa). The beaches are open, the sand is still hot and weirdly sticky, and summer will be business as usual.
Carry on, beach moms.
