Husband’s Guide to Gift Giving: What Your Wife REALLY Wants!

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Dear Husbands,

Hello. It’s not often us moms on the blog address you directly. But I want to take this opportunity to enlighten you. To provide you with a guide of sorts to what your wife really wants on her birthday, or any celebratory occasion. It’s not over complicated, or expensive, or time consuming. Just some simple things you can do for your wife to score you some major bonus points. And you know, possibly get you laid. Yeah, I thought that would get your attention.


Unless your wife has really really specified something specific that she wants, she’s counting on you to think of something useful and or special to give her. Trust me on this one, this doesn’t mean it has to be a thing. Discussing this topic with other moms, I found the vast majority could care less about a tangible gift. Women want our husbands to put some effort in! So, IT ISN’T ABOUT THE ITEM! IT IS ABOUT THE THOUGHT. Now say that to yourself aloud, husbands. IT ISN’T ABOUT THE ITEM! IT IS ABOUT THE THOUGHT.

I polled the JMB team, and the overall consensus was we just want our husbands to actually PLAN something. Anything, really, that doesn’t involve us having to participate in the planning process! Because that’s what we constantly do. We plan what’s for dinner, who has to be where when, when is that kid’s project due, what day do I volunteer, when is that kid’s doctor’s appointment, oh, the dog has to go to vet? I could go on and on.

Plan a romantic dinner or date night. Cook for her. Take her to a place you haven’t been in a long time that might have some importance to your life while you were dating. Watch the kids on the weekend and give mom some time off to get a pedicure. I’m not saying plan a trip to Paris! There are so many easy, simple things you can do for your wife just by planning ahead. YOU book the sitter. YOU make the dinner reservations. Pretend you are dating again and go above and beyond to make mom feel special. It’s ONE day. You can put in the effort for ONE day. I PROMISE, it will be worth it!

I am not a gift person. I much prefer an experience to an item, but I know there are some women that prefer a little something. Ask your wives what they want. (MOMS- be honest with your husbands about what you want! I always say, if you expect your husband to guess what you want, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If there is something you want–just ask.) Husbands, if your wife does tell you something in particular, remember it! Put it as a note in your phone or write it down at work. Women are beyond impressed if you remember they mentioned a certain something months ago, and you happened to remember!


Husbands, it is your responsibility to help your kids celebrate your wife’s birthday. That means reminding them it is even her birthday. Mom isn’t going to remind the kids they should be celebrating her. You need to remind your kids how special mom is and that she deserves to be celebrated. Remember, especially if you have boys, you are setting an example of how you think women should be celebrated and treated on special occasions. Kids want to celebrate mom, but they need a little help in the card making, breakfast in bed making, or gift buying department.


Social Media

DO NOT wish your wife a generic, “Happy Birthday!” on Facebook.  Seriously, do not even go there. Honestly, you might as well write, “I don’t care that it’s your birthday, but Facebook reminded me and so it’s my obligation to say happy birthday.” DO post a cute picture of her and thank her for being to the mom to your kids. Or post a cute pic of your kids and wish your wife happy birthday from you and your kids. Tell her you love her and are thankful for her as a mom and wife. Even if you aren’t an overly outgoing person on social media, proclaiming your love for her after all these years on the internet will make your wife’s heart happy.

Do you wish your husband would put some more effort into gift giving? Or is he doing a great job?  We’d love to hear!

Kacey Roache
Kacey Roache is a Jacksonville native who lives in Ponte Vedra with her husband, TJ, and her three kids, Lucy, Lucas and Lola. Kacey graduated from Florida State University (Go Noles!) with a degree in interior design. She is passionate about the arts and arts education and has served on the board of Art with a Heart in Healthcare, Ponte Vedra Public Education Foundation for the Arts, Christ Church Creative Academy as well as the PTOs at her kids' school. In her spare time you might find her channeling her inner Serena Williams on the tennis court, performing in community theater, or enjoying the beach with her friends and family. Follow her family's chaos on Instagram: @kaceyroachepvb


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