Like most parents, the Halloween memories I want to cherish are visions of my kids dressed in adorable costumes with their smiling, sticky faces licking on candy or precious pumpkin photos at the pumpkin patch. This Halloween, I’m excited to watch my daughter twirl around in her princess dress and have my heart light up when my son, dressed like a Ninja, reaches for my hand as he goes trick-or-treating.
In the midst of all this, however, I can’t help but to think that there will come a Halloween when my kids won’t want to spend it with me. They won’t need me there to hold their hand.
These thoughts creep into my head because it reminds me of a Halloween memory I have from when I was a teenager. Obviously, I did not want my hand held but it was an age when I did not want my parents around at all on Halloween. Combine this memory with the fact that lately, although our son is usually a good, sweet kid–he has been talking back to us and testing our patience, triggering these buried memories to resurface. Similar to my son, I was not a horrible kid but I certainly wasn’t perfect!
I remember that Halloween when I was a young teenager. I wanted to spend a couple hours with friends, look at the spooky decorations and share some candy. I wanted to be anywhere else but home with my mom because of course, I thought it was lame to stay in on Halloween while everyone else was out having fun. (In my mom’s defense, I’m pretty sure it was a school night).
We had a bad argument about me going out, and I remember making a scene outside my house before my friend picked me up. I can’t remember if my mom reluctantly let me go or if I just left. When I came back home, I found my mom sitting alone on the couch, crying.
As a parent now, my reaction would be; “If my kid ever disrespects me like that, they’re not getting back in the house!” Then, I think of my mother, and I’m glad she didn’t feel the same way.
I cringe when I remember that awful time I drove my mom to tears and any other time I disappointed either of my parents. I reflect on those memories, realizing they are coming back to haunt me but also know I appreciate my parents even more. It has made me aware of the challenges they faced and how big their shoes are to fill. It also reminds me that kids will challenge you without always understanding they may be hurting you.
So, this Halloween, enjoy watching your kids run around in their costumes, share some laughs and treats. Most of all, savor those hand-holding moments. If your kids are older and don’t need you there to hold their hand, hang out with your parents instead. Ask them to share Halloween memories of you as a kid! It will give you a chance to make new memories to cherish now that you are all adults.
If you need ideas on things to do this year, check out the Ultimate Guide to Halloween and Fall Fun. What are some memories you have as a kid on Halloween?
