I have been an elementary school teacher for 23 years. Parent involvement has decreased a lot in the past 7–10 years, and it affects the children more than parents know. Parents seem to not want to follow rules, be inconvenienced, or simply think that the rules don’t apply to them, which again negatively impacts their children’s self-esteem. The truth is this: Elementary school kids are not independent and cannot “do” education without the support of someone at home.
Here is what I see as a teacher in the classroom, along with a few personal pet peeves.
- Please pay attention to attendance. Children who miss 20–48 days of school in one year and those who are constantly signed out early — for extracurricular activities, parents getting off work, parents picking up a younger sibling and not wanting to wait for the dismissal time — and then who still want their child on A/B honor roll. Don’t ask for extra credit at the end of the nine weeks.
- Be on time for school. That poor child who is chronically late comes in halfway through the morning wake-up or at the end of the announcements and still has to unpack and get settled. They start their day behind from the moment they walk in the room.
- Encourage your child to complete their homework reading log. It’s the same kids every night — the ones who don’t have accountability or support at home. These are generally the children who don’t have planners signed, get field trip permission slips in without being given three or four copies, and come unprepared for the day.
- Empty your child’s folder. Most teachers pass things back one day a week. We ask parents to look in a folder one day. The poor children who have nobody to celebrate success with or nobody to problem solve when their grade didn’t come back as expected break our hearts.
- Please don’t put a teacher or child in the middle of a divorce or split household. A child just needs one parent who will be involved and consistently monitor school progress. Blaming each other to the point of nobody being accountable for the child hurts the child. Present a united front at school for the sake of the child. The teacher doesn’t need to know (and doesn’t care) that you think the other parent is unfit.
- Don’t take your child home after lunch unless it is necessary. I have parents who occasionally ask if we are doing anything important in the afternoon so that they can take their child home after lunch. The answer is YES. Teachers put hours into lesson planning and plan for every minute of the day, right up to dismissal. It is insulting when parents ask this, and yes, your child will miss instruction.
- Communicate about parties or celebrations. Please send in what you say you are going to send in for a class celebration or communicate with the teacher that you can’t (in advance) send in what you committed to. Teachers plan parties and celebrations and are counting on you to uphold your commitment. And please include napkins, plates, forks, etc. when your birthday treat requires it. All too often we get chocolate cupcakes with bright blue frosting and no napkins. Or ice cream that parents expect teachers to scoop and serve with no bowls or spoons! Always ask first before sending treats, and then please send enough for everyone in the class. In fact, send an extra one or two in case Johnny’s treat accidentally falls on the floor!
- Communicate with teachers how they ask you to. If a teacher wants you to email them, don’t ask them questions on the school app. There is a reason teachers use school email (for documentation purposes). If they communicate on an app, make sure you access it in the fall and set up your account so you can get notifications and reminders.
- As parents, please do things the first time you are asked. Don’t make a teacher waste their time reminding you two, three, or four times to sign this form or log onto a communication account. Give teachers a working email that you check regularly, and print the email address when you write it so the teacher can read your writing when they are setting up the email distribution list.
- Set a good example for your child. Don’t talk or play on your phone during school functions (orientation, open house, awards ceremonies). If you are investing your time into coming to school, be present in the moment.
There are a lot of great parents out there, and teachers appreciate students who have involved parents. It truly makes a difference in the lives of our students!
Our “Dear Parent, From a Teacher” series helps parents obtain the tools and insight to ensure a successful school year for their children. If you are a teacher who wishes to write a guest blog for this series, please email your topic to [email protected].
