There’s no one right way — and plenty of good ways — to celebrate your child’s birthday. A great birthday party can be seamless and low-stress at a party venue, Pinterest-perfect at a chic locale, or refreshingly laid-back at the pool or park. Alternatively, skipping the party entirely and celebrating with an experience like a theme park visit or big family dinner is just as special.
READ: The Best Birthday Party Guide In & Around Jacksonville
There’s another option you might consider adding to your repertoire: the at-home birthday party. As someone who’s hosted three such parties in four years, there are several reasons they appeal to me. I enjoy the annual creative outlet, and hosting at home affords me more creative control. It also motivates me to clean my house and address my honey-do list (it’s me; I’m honey). Inviting kids and parents into our home fosters real-life connection in a time when so much of our lives are only shared virtually. My birthday girl enjoys showing her friends her toys, room, swing set, and dog, and I enjoy getting to know other parents and sharing a bit of my world with them.
For me, there’s also a little bit of defiance in hosting. Opening up my cute but modest rental house to others, in all its secondhand and IKEA-furnished glory, can feel vulnerable, particularly compared to nearby upscale neighborhoods. Defying that insecurity helps me feel like I have a place in the community, too, as do the other families who live in smaller, older homes on less pristine streets. I don’t want my daughter to feel like her home, at any stage of her life, isn’t big enough or nice enough to host her friends confidently.
Tips for Hosting an At-Home Birthday Party
So, how is it done? Maybe some of my go-to strategies will inspire you to host a memorable gathering at your home this year, no matter its size.
Brainstorm. Browse the web for party inspiration. Use Pinterest to save ideas for themes, decor, activities, and food, then narrow down your concept from there. Include your child in brainstorming.
Decide on your party size. I anticipate around half of the invitees attending but want to be prepared to accommodate everyone. Determine how many people you can comfortably host indoors if the weather is bad, but don’t be afraid of a crowded party. Squeezing into a well-attended gathering makes for a good time.
Design your invitations thoughtfully. Many parents bemoan low party turnout, but your invitation can fight that. Use an app like Canva to create an invitation with a template and include your child’s photo so he or she is less anonymous to other parents. Specify details like whether a meal will be served or if siblings are welcome (I vote to include siblings). Indicate if parents should stay or drop off. And if you convey that you specifically hope their child will attend, mentioning them by name, parents may feel more compelled to RSVP yes. That said, avoid promising your child a big turnout. Even if only a few classmates come, a small group is fun.
Decorate a few focal points in your home. Don’t worry about every corner of your house; focus on areas like the entryway and dining table. Within these spaces, include one or two showstoppers that catch your guests’ attention and make them smile. Giant cloth photo backdrops are often inexpensive but add a big visual punch. Overhead decor like garland, balloons, or paper lanterns is another easy way to transform a room.
Rearrange and use what you have. Bring a desk into the entryway to hold party favors. Gather vases or candlesticks from other rooms. Doodle birthday drawings on your chalkboard. Look around and work with what you’ve got.
In a small home, create some open floor space. I push the dining table against one wall and move the dining chairs to another area, leaving space around the table clear. Give energetic kids somewhere to move around a little more freely.
Add a personal touch. You don’t have to be crafty or spend hours on DIY projects, but think about adding one homemade touch that puts your personal stamp on the party, like painting a cardboard or wooden craft sign. It’s okay if it looks handmade with love. Your child can contribute too.
Embrace the “secret Monica closet,” a la Friends. If you need to shove stuff into a room and close the door, so be it. No one needs to know.
Shop smart for secondhand and reusable party supplies. Thrift stores can provide unexpected and budget-friendly party inspiration. Purchase items you can reuse for future parties, like washable tablecloths. A 6-foot folding table is a practical investment. And on-theme toys and decorations can serve double-duty; display them at the party, and the birthday kid can keep them afterward.
Reach a stopping point. There will always be more ideas and inspiration. Curate a few favorites for your party, and then stop. You’ve done enough.
When planning party activities, maximize the space available to you. Can you route people to your front yard and backyard, or onto a front porch or back patio? Can you set up a folding table in your kitchen for a craft activity? Can the kids play in your child’s bedroom?
Provide an activity that cultivates camaraderie. Set up a project that involves creating something kids can wear at the party or contributing to a collaborative art project. This will help bring everyone together. At my daughter’s most recent party, the girls decorated crowns they wore all evening.
Offer decent food. Provide choices that include some protein, fruits, and vegetables alongside sweets. Include kid-friendly options and some choices adults are likely to enjoy. At my daughter’s last party, we got pizza from a popular restaurant and included some options with veggies, which parents appreciated. The year prior, at a breakfast-themed party, we rounded out donuts with bacon, mixed fruit, Greek yogurt, juice, and coffee.
Food can be an activity. I’ve had DIY trail mix, tabletop s’mores, and make-your-own ice cream sundae stations at past parties, adding a little more novelty to the day.
Provide an outlet for physical energy. The year I invited an entire kindergarten class to my small home, I rented a bounce house. This was a worthwhile investment for a big group, encouraging guests to spend time in the front yard and letting kids burn energy outside instead of in my living room.
Avoid over-structuring the party. You’ve decorated, provided food, and set out a team-building activity. Now, let the children do their thing. Janet Lansbury’s article, “Secrets to Magical Kids Parties,” has forever shaped my view on this. Trust kids to create their own fun and you’ll be rewarded by seeing what they come up with. At my daughter’s 7th birthday party, I never expected the girls to run around using our battery-operated taper candles as torches or to put on a fashion show at the end of the night.
Reframe your thinking. If you’re feeling insecure about hosting in your smaller home, remind yourself of all the different types of environments people enjoy visiting. Eating at an intimate and cozy café can be just as enjoyable as visiting a sleek and spacious restaurant. There’s room for all types of homes and all types of birthday celebrations. Guests will appreciate your hospitality.
Hosting a birthday party at home can take some time and energy to prepare, but it’s worth doing at least once. If you don’t usually host gatherings, they’re a nice way to start, even if it’s the only time you do it all year long. You may find it rewarding to foster a little more connection with your child’s friends and their parents—and explore your creative side — with a perfectly imperfect birthday party at home.
About the Author
Toni Thomas is the grateful mom of one brilliant, funny, and artistic daughter. Her career has included nonprofit program management in Jacksonville and throughout Florida, as well as working as a federal contractor in the field of education. She reads and thinks a lot about motherhood and can often be found writing passionate, long-winded comments in Facebook mom groups. Toni likes secondhand decorating, taking too many pictures, making soup, and generally living in Ponte Vedra Beach, where other people vacation.
