Growing up, I spent Christmas Eve at my Grandparent’s house with my Dad’s side of the family, followed by Christmas Day waking up in my own house celebrating with my parents and brother. Shortly after, we headed to my other Grandparent’s house and celebrated Christmas with my Mom’s family. We all lived so close together that we accomplished all of this in two days and spent hardly any time in the car much less an airplane.
As military families, we live where the Navy tells us to live, which for most people is not close to our extended families. Because of the distance, you either have to travel to see your family or there is a chance you don’t get to see them at all. What if your husband is deployed during the holidays? Needless to say, when you are in the military, you have to be flexible and make your own traditions and do what you can to make it special for everyone involved.
You travel for the holidays to see your family so you won’t be in your own house on Christmas Day.
This has been the case for us most years since I married into the Navy. We are fortunate enough to currently live within driving distance of our families who live in North Carolina, but still, you can’t possibly fit gifts for your family and Santa’s gifts in your car. My kids are still little and I want them to believe in Santa for many years to come, so what do I do? I explain to them that we are a special family because we are in the Navy, and Santa comes to our house a little early allowing us to travel and visit their Nanas, Papas, Aunts, Uncles and cousins for the holiday.
Depending on our travel plans, Santa sometimes comes on the 20th, or even earlier or later than that. We do everything as if the 20th is Christmas Day. On the 19th we write letters to Santa and set them out with milk and cookies. That night, “Santa” does his magic, I make a couple of breakfast casseroles for our special Christmas breakfast, and the next day is Christmas for our family of four even though it’s not the 25th. I used to stress about this because it’s not your typical Christmas, but now I accept it, so do my girls, and it’s just what we do… and it’s fun! I love that our Christmas lasts a week!
You can’t go home for the holidays.
I currently consider Jacksonville my home, because I will make any place I live “my home,” but what I mean here is where your extended family lives or where you are from. If you are in the military you can’t always go home. Either it’s just too far, you don’t have enough days off work, or the travel is too expensive. The good news is, I guarantee there are other military families who live close by who will be staying in Jacksonville too.
Poll your friends to see who is interested in celebrating Christmas together. That’s the great thing about being in the military. You have a second family that steps up when you can’t be with your own. Keep it simple. Let Honey Baked Ham or Publix prepare the ham or turkey and ask your guests to bring sides and desserts. Your kids will have a blast playing with other military kids and you will get to have some adult conversation with your eggnog.
Your husband is deployed at Christmas.
Have you ever had to handle Christmas without your significant other? How can you possibly do it all by yourself? Ask friends or family if possible to come and help you put up your decorations. Try to simplify a bit. You don’t have to put up every decoration this year, just the ones you and your kids love and remember from year to year.
For us it’s the tree with all its sentimental ornaments, the stockings, advent calendar, Lulu the Elf on the Shelf, Christmas stuffed animals that play crazy loud music and dance, and mistletoe (gotta get kisses from your babies even if you can’t get them from your hubby). If it’s a decoration your kids have not noticed in the past or it doesn’t give you the warm fuzzies, leave it in the box and put it up next Christmas when your man can help.
Talk about your husband to your kids and how he is away being a hero, let them help pack his box of Christmas goodies (a month early), and Skype or chat on the phone if that is an option and I know it’s not always. Ask your husband if he can mail your children some presents that are just from him. As far as your husband’s box, you don’t want to send anything of significant value or anything that will leave you heartbroken if it gets lost. Send small Christmas decorations that you and the kids make together, cards, his favorite Christmas treats, and pictures.
He will be missing his family like crazy, so do what you can to make his Christmas special too. Another idea a friend shared with me is to let your kids open their Daddy’s gifts and take pictures as they open and send the pictures to him. If your husband has a stocking, let Santa fill it and then mail the contents to your husband.
