Being a mama ain’t easy. Life is just plain busy for everyone I know. After dealing with morning drop-offs, meltdowns, bickering, mealtimes, laundry, naps (or nap refusal), and afternoon pickups, we often just want a mental escape. Sometimes, the quickest way to do that is to pick up our phones and scroll.
Social media can be wonderful for staying in touch with friends and family who live far away. It can be great for networking with people in your industry or even with people who share a similar passion or hobby. It’s also great for support at times. The truth is, at times, social media can make us question our worth and what we are doing in our lives. It can feed us lies, and sometimes we start to believe those lies.
The Lies Social Media Tells Us Moms
Here are a few of the biggest ones.
- You should have your s*%# together as a mom. There’s nothing like social media for making you question your self-worth as a mom when you see all the amazing birthday party photos of hand-made decorations and Martha Stewart-worthy cakes. Social media has a way of making us feel that we should be able to handle everything on our plate while looking and feeling great, too. The reality is that no one can keep up with all the pressures that come with being a parent nowadays.
- Your outward appearance holds the weight of your worth. Anybody else tired of seeing perfectly posed pictures that are supposed to be natural? There is this ongoing message that what you look like on the outside: your hair, clothing choice, makeup, etc, is what matters most.
- What you have now is not enough. Social media fuels this idea that we need more in our life. More vacations, designer clothes, new shoes, fancy dinners, and on and on. More often than not, the focus is on what you don’t yet have instead of living in the now and enjoying the present.
4 Quick Tips to Keep from Falling into the Trap
Now that we’ve talked about some of the lies social media tells us, let’s discuss four easy tips for protecting and honoring your self-worth.
- Block/unfollow/unfriend anyone whose posts are too much drama or too negative. For example, if someone on your feed is always posting about their vacations, and your family is on a tight budget, consider hiding their posts, at least temporarily. The same goes for someone who is always showing off their body while you’re in a place where you are struggling to love your own changing body. It doesn’t hurt the person, but it helps to protect your overall well-being.
- Limit your scrolling time. Ladies, it is SO easy to fall down the rabbit hole of social media. Next thing you know, it’s been 30 minutes, and you’ve got nothing to show for it. I encourage you to be mindful of your scrolling time. The more you scroll, the more likely you are to see or read something that triggers a negative emotion.
- Follow people who are doing things that inspire, encourage, and motivate you, whether you know them personally or not. Sure, there are lots of negative people on social media and people putting on a front, but there are also so many people who are sharing their journey of reaching for their goals and dreams. This is the type of post that will lift you up rather than pull you down.
- Watch your focus. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves daily of what we are grateful for in our lives. It’s also super helpful to write out your goals and dreams, create a plan to achieve them, and then have a weekly check-in on your progress.
Ladies, social media is often just watching others live out their lives instead of focusing on living your best life now. Your journey as a mama is your own. It’s as unique and amazing as you are.
What are you missing out on due to the social media trap?
About the Author
Maria Inoa is a licensed clinical social worker, and the owner of Full Potential Counseling. With over 12 years of experience, she specializes in working with women on building healthier relationships with themselves and others. She strongly believes that every woman has worth, significance, and purpose. Maria is a native Floridian and newer to the Jacksonville area. She’s a proud Florida State University grad and mother to a 5-year-old boy and 2-year-old girl. Like most Floridians, she enjoys being outside, especially in and around water, as well as cooking, dancing, and napping.