If you had told me last year that I’d be walking into this holiday season as a newly divorced mom, I would’ve laughed you right out of my living room. But here we are nonetheless. First Christmas, first New Year’s, first everything in this new chapter. And honestly? It’s not what I imagined, but it’s also not as bad as I thought it would be.
In fact, something unexpected happened recently, and I realized that the holidays get to be whatever I want them to be.
For the first time, there’s no pressure to make everything picture-perfect for a marriage I was trying to hold together. No over-functioning, no bending myself to match someone else’s idea of “holiday cheer.” It’s just me, my kids, and a calendar full of possibilities. And that feels pretty liberating (and a little exhausting, but I digress).
Whether you’re newly divorced, separated, co-parenting, grieving, or simply navigating a holiday season that looks different from what it did before, this post is for you.
Here’s how I’m choosing to create a holiday season that feels supportive, joyful, and true to me (and how you can, too!).
Start New Traditions (Even if They’re Not Pinterest-Perfect)
Out with the days of forcing holiday traditions that exhausted me more than they inspired joy. Now don’t get me wrong. I love a matching Christmas pajama moment and all the Christmas activities, but this year, I’m building new ones that feel authentic, simple, and fun, such as:
- Christmas pajamas + takeout on Christmas Eve
- A cozy morning walk instead of rushing to make breakfast for everyone
- Letting the kids pick the holiday movie instead of trying to make it sentimental
- Making a “mom-only” holiday playlist that gets me in a good mood
Or maybe, and this is the fun part, your new tradition is no tradition. You get to choose.
Prioritize Self-Care Without Apology
Listen, being a single mom on a regular day can be a whole workout for your nervous system. Now, add in the holidays. Between co-parenting schedules, financial shifts, emotional triggers, and school programs galore, December can feel like a marathon.
That’s why self-care is non-negotiable. Self-care can look like:
- Going to sleep when you’re tired instead of doing “just one more thing.”
- Letting yourself cry and then resetting with your favorite drink.
- Saying “No” to events you don’t actually want to attend.
- Getting in a workout, a walk, or even 15 minutes of stretching to reset your body.
The holidays aren’t just for giving to others; they’re for giving back to yourself, too.
Take Yourself on a Solo Holiday Date
Solo dates are my favorite new thing. Instead of waiting for someone to invite me or accompany me, I decided to take myself out. Jacksonville has tons of holiday shows, pop-ups, and events. You can literally put on your favorite outfit, grab a cute purse, and take yourself to:
- The Nutcracker
- A holiday candle-making class
- The Jacksonville Symphony
- Ice skating
- A festive brunch spot
A solo date during the holidays feels luxurious, healing, grown-woman, and honestly? Kinda iconic.
Reach Out to Family and Friends (You Don’t Have to Do This Alone)
Holiday loneliness is real, especially after a major life change. I’ve realized that people want to show up for you. They just don’t always know how.
So don’t be shy. Reach out or:
- Say “Yes” to the cousin who keeps asking you to come over.
- Spend a day at your parents’ house.
- Have a wine + charcuterie night with your girls.
- Let someone watch the kids for a few hours so you can breathe.
Community doesn’t erase the grief, but it absolutely softens the edges.
Give Yourself Permission to Decorate (or Not)
This is the year where you get to decide what your home looks like for you. Maybe that means going all out with pink Christmas décor (because why not break the traditional rules?!). Or maybe it means no decorations at all. Not because you’re sad, but because minimalism feels peaceful right now. Your home is your sanctuary. Decorate for the version of you who’s emerging.
READ: Making Christmas Magic As a Co-Parenting Mom
Learn a New Hobby or Bring Back an Old One
New seasons often reveal new (or old) parts of us. Maybe this is the holiday where you finally:
- Learn to bake cinnamon rolls from scratch.
- Try knitting or crocheting.
- Start journaling again.
- Pick up photography.
- Join a Pilates studio.
- Rearrange your entire apartment just because.
Distraction isn’t the goal. Rediscovery is.
Remember: You Get to Define What the Holidays Mean for You Now
Divorce changes many things, but it doesn’t take away your ability to experience joy, peace, or magic during the holidays. You’re not “missing out.” You’re shifting, expanding, and evolving.
This season is your chance to slow down, release pressure, build new memories, focus on what actually matters, and gift yourself the freedom you didn’t have before. Your holidays don’t have to look like anyone else’s. Not your ex’s. Not Instagram’s. Not what your past self imagined. Just yours.
And guess what? That’s more than enough.
A Holiday Season Made Just for You
So, cheers to you navigating your first holiday season after divorce or loss. To the one rediscovering joy in unexpected places and choosing yourself, maybe even for the first time ever.
This year, the holidays aren’t something happening to you. They’re something you get to shape. And you’re doing beautifully. So, let’s toast to that.
