As contributors of Jax Moms Blog, we have the amazing opportunity to share our thoughts, ideas, fears, and joys of parenthood with our readers, but as women, we are typically looking at this from a decidedly female point of view. In honor of Father’s Day, we are happy to hand over the reigns and give the men in our lives the opportunity to not just be the figures in the stories we tell but to actually share, from their perspective, what it’s like to go on this crazy journey called parenthood.
A Manly Daddy to Little Girls
News flash: I’m a guy. I grew up with a ball at my feet, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in my hands and Ghostbusters on the television. Sports became a daily obsession and I even turned that passion into a career. So I get boys.
Funny then I would become a father of two girls. Ready or not, I had to adapt immediately and cannon ball into a pool of pink and purple. But my girls have allowed me to love at a level that may not have been possible for me with boys. I’m now quick to set aside my “manliness” to make my girls laugh. I have memorized Frozen and Mulan and frequently catch myself humming the songs in the copy room at work. Good grief, I tear up if a commercial even hints at a father/daughter bond. But no man could stay cold when Hannah hits you with that patented smile or Isla looks up and says “Daddy, I love you…so much…it’s crazy.”
All of this loving change is also motivation. My girls are the reason I work hard every day. They are why I drag myself to the gym so I’m ready to intimidate the inevitable boyfriends. They make me strive to be a man that is the standard against which they will compare others. So yeah, I may have become a big softie but I’m stronger than ever because of the ladies in my life.
Paul Pugh
Father of Isla (3.5) & Hannah (16 weeks)
The Dad Who Turned in His Surf Board for a New Season in Life
I have four kids. The oldest two are twins, the next oldest is four, and the youngest is one year old. When I was a kid, I never pictured myself as a parent of twins when I grew up. And up until one year and nine months ago, I never pictured myself as the parent of four . Yet, now, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
And sure, it takes a lot of time and energy to be a dad no matter the number of kids. I tried to explain to my brother, who does not have kids yet, the full depth, scope, and magnitude of how tired you are at the end of the day and it was difficult. I could not adequately describe the mix of physical and mental exhaustion that is slow-cooked to perfection throughout the day leaving you spent. And then I grumble and complain about my reduced surfing time, fishing time, and running time.
But that time spent with my kids instead is invaluable. Definitely to them, but also to me. To hear the off-the-cuff questions they ask, to see first-hand how they are interpreting the world, and to hear how their minds explain things is priceless. I would not trade it for a few more waves ridden, fish caught, or miles run in a million years.
Life moves in seasons and the time while my kids are young is a short one. Pretty soon, other interests will be competing for my kids’ time and attention so I’m enjoying the season while it’s here. The season will fade before I know it.
Charles Waller
Father of Will and Sophie (8), Lainey (4), & Henry (1)
The Veteran Amongst the Dads
It’s been 11 years since I first became a dad and 9 years since I last became a dad so my perspective is by no means fresh and I can certainly not provide a play by play of what I was feeling during both pregnancies and births. I’m at what I would consider the half-way point of my meaningful time with my kids and what I’ve learned is that there is no such thing as a dated perspective on “becoming a dad” because the 9 months leading up to childbirth aren’t what define becoming a dad. Those are indeed the first steps and you can certainly use that time to prepare, but becoming a dad is an evolving process that takes the rest of your life.
All the nights spent watching TV at 3:00AM while feeding both kids the world’s smelliest baby formula to give my wife a break was part of my becoming a dad. Hearing their first words, seeing their first steps, and dropping them off on their first day of school were all key parts of my becoming a dad. Watching through the window as some punk kid pushed McKenzie down from behind and then stood smiling over her and deciding to let that kid live was a huge part of becoming a dad (important to note that both my daughter and the boy were 1. That one-year old taught me early on that you find out more about yourself when you see if you are able to sit back and watch your child handle adversity in their life than you will ever learn when you have to deal with your own adversity.) Seemingly every new day brings a new joy or challenge; all of which allow me one more chance to continue becoming a dad. God willing, I have a long lifetime of these opportunities yet to come.
Ryan Pettus
Father of McKenzie (11) & Ethan (9)
Happy Father’s Day from Jacksonville Moms Blog!
