Back to School (But With a Twist This Time)

The end of summer insanity is in sight. We are so close that I can almost taste it. My dining room table is littered with school supplies, and my online Target cart has a bottle of champagne and a bottle of orange juice just waiting to be bought, picked up via drive-up (obviously), and combined to bring me the nectar of the Gods (a.k.a. a mimosa). This year though, as I’m prepping for my kids to go back to school, I’m also preparing for my own first day of school. That’s right — mama’s going back to school!

I’ve haven’t always “loved” school, but I have always loved learning. For as far back as I can remember, I’ve sought to understand as much as I possibly can. From my ingestion of countless books as a child to my constant desire to listen to podcasts and read expert articles today, I’ve always loved information. So, in that context, perhaps it’s no surprise that I’m going back to school. However, from a practical perspective, it may seem absolutely crazy that I’m going back to school. Adding grad school classes and the responsibility of intense amounts of reading, writing, researching, and presenting to my already frenzy-like schedule honestly feels unhinged.

I mean, I’ve done this kind of thing before, but the last time I did it, I was working a very intense full-time job that required me to be in person all day, every day. For two years, I managed that job (even got a promotion), took a full-time college class load, and navigated the insanity of the terrible twos and threenager years. I graduated in April 2020 with my bachelor’s degree as a first-generation college graduate, and it was a major moment for me and my entire family. The only thing I didn’t do the first time around was ask for help or set as many boundaries, and this time around, I’m approaching it differently. I know this step is the right one for me, and it will set me up for success in the ways I want to show up for my kids in the long term. And despite the fact this sometimes feels like I’m blatantly choosing chaos, I have confidence in my ability to manage it because I know I’m not on this road alone.

Even in a “normal” season of parenting, raising children is never something that humans were meant to do alone in a silo. We desperately need other people around us to learn from, connect to, and seek help from. That need only increases in seasons of parenting that bring on more competing priorities, new challenges, and/or a lot of change. So, as I enter into this new chapter of graduate school, I do so knowing that I am going to need a lot of help. And that despite my enneagram type 2 tendencies, I will have to voice my need for help to my family and friends. For the next two years, my schedule will largely be defined by the roles of “Mom, Wife, Work, School,” which means that the many other roles I play will have less space on my calendar.

Baseball team mom? Probably not. 

Room mom for all classes for both kids? Unfortunately, unfeasible. 

Hosting a ton of fabulous parties? Unlikely. 

Saying yes to more committees? Sadly, I shouldn’t. 

Here’s the hardest part of this for me (and likely for most moms). Despite the fact that I know my availability will be more limited and I will have to say no to a lot of invites, I still desperately want to be asked and included. I want my friends and family to know ahead of time that declining opportunities or invites isn’t me saying no to them. Rather it’s me saying yes to myself. I’m not going to disappear off the face of the planet or withdraw from everything social, extra, and fun, but I will become less accessible and visible than I currently am. But please, don’t stop making the asks and inviting me to the things because my need to be included isn’t going away, and my love for you will remain constant.

So, to my family, my friends, my colleagues, and my community, this is me very publicly taking the first step toward being vulnerable and asking for your help, your patience, and your grace as I navigate the journey of starting the Master in Public Policy degree at Jacksonville University.

And to anyone who is reading this article who’s thinking about going back to school, getting a new certification, or starting another new venture, you should know that I believe in you! You don’t need the experience of having done something before in order to be successful at it now. What you really need is confidence in yourself and to be surrounded by the quintessential “village” that is often noted as necessary to raise a child. If you don’t have a village yet, allow me to suggest starting here at Jacksonville Mom to find other moms to be your champions.