How Much Time Do I Have?

I still find nothing so sweet as the bond between boys and their mamas. But I’m realizing, as my oldest son finishes elementary school this spring, I may be running out of time with my little boy. There’s that sweet, golden time of boyhood he’s just moving out of, and coming down the tracks, so clearly I can smell the Arm & Hammer deodorant, is the tween and teenager.

READ: The Golden Age of Boyhood

How much time do I have left before his soft cheek disappears under stubble? Before he’s a foot taller than me? Before his voice sounds more like his father’s than his little sister’s? Before he won’t want to snuggle or fall asleep while I read to him?

I am dreading this.

I am dreading it because I don’t know what to expect. I feel like teen girls, much as they may not want them, still need their mothers to navigate some of the womanhood stuff. I don’t know what to expect with my boy. Already he prefers his dad to read him the books about “guy stuff.” (Which is fine… have at it, Dad. Leave me out of that one!)

But I know I will miss my sweetheart. The one who gives the best hugs. Not the one raging at nothing because he had a bad day at school. The one who still plays with his little brother. Not the one who ignores him or picks on him just to feel more in control. The one who still adores his big sister. Not the one who replies sarcastically to her when she says something to him.

Every night when I read to him, or sit with him and watch TV, I put my arm around my little boy and run a thumb over his soft cheek and think, how much time do I have left?

Meg Sacks
Meg is a working mom of four and an avid community volunteer. She has worked in corporate communications and media relations for more than 18 years, for a Fortune 500 company as well as a non-profit. She took some time off to enjoy life as a stay at home mom after the birth of her first child in 2008. Her sweet, introverted daughter, was excited to welcome her baby brother in 2013, and then boy/girl twins joined the family in 2016. Meg finds being an “office mama” a constant balancing act and never-ending challenge but enjoys the opportunities it offers her for personal growth. A Virginia girl at heart, she loves Florida’s warm weather, the great quality of life Jacksonville offers her family.


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