Bursting Bubble. As the journey continues from my last post about my new life as a single mommy, When the Bubble Burst, knowing how to navigate this whole process is insanely difficult and who really knows what the right way is? I do know that I have two little girls that depend on me to maintain a stable environment.
Making this as seamless and comfortable for them is put above my feelings; and I have a lot of feelings lately. I would run away and hide into a cave if I could. It is important for my girls to have quality time with their mommy and their daddy. This new thing in my life, or co-parenting, is just another learning curve on the rollercoaster of a modern family.
I have to tell you, this is hard to do. I want to keep my girls all of the time and I really don’t want to face their father. There are too many emotions and memories racing through my head during the exchange. Ugh. What a word. Exchange!
What happened to the good times? Or the thought of forever and lifelong commitment of my family? I can’t believe I am here and dealing with all of this alone. How did this happen? Oh, that’s right.. the bubble burst and left a soapy mess that I continue to clean up. You do know how hard it is to clean up liquid detergent, right? Just when you think you have all of the suds taken care of, they just bubble up again. This is a perfect analogy of my emotional state currently.
Fostering a respectful relationship with the once other half is important to the success of my children. This is my next challenge that I face as I kiss them and say goodbye. We both agree that these girls are important enough to put them first as we begin our lives apart and create two families out of one. This is going to take a lot of work and commitment. Maybe even more commitment apart than when we were together. Odd right?!
Where do you start? I want to share a few things that I have learned in the process. Take a deep breath and continue to think about the positive future. There is separate everything so that the girls do not have to drag luggage to school. That’s right, two of almost everything! They simply take what they will need for the exchange in their school backpack.
We communicate about our girls often to ensure we are on the same page. Just the other night there were texts about shows that I do not allow in my house and behavior that I was seeing. We agree on specific shows that the girls cannot watch and how to address the words that they are using. This type of communication is very important to keep each other in the loop of the growth and development of our daughters.
We have set consistent routines so our girls know what to expect and feel safe. This means the same days for over nights and every other weekends. We share success stories with school grades and we also share mishaps along the way. We love them with open hearts and tell them how much we adore them as we have a special family with not just one but two homes. We spend time with them and create new experiences as a family of three on both ends. Sounds good right?! It is quite mind blowing, sad, surreal and lonely.
As I work to create the best life for our girls as a new modern family, I am constantly cleaning up the bubbles. I try hard to set aside my emotions and work with their father to do what is best for them moving forward. Some days are cleaner than others. I know from my studies that children are resilient and can survive the unthinkable. Yes, even divorce and the bubble bursting.
Thank you for this post.