You’re 19, in college, dreaming of studying abroad in Paris. It never happens, but the dream of visiting Paris will remain. Fast forward: You’re a wife and mom of two young children, living the daily routine. You’re presented with the opportunity to take a girl’s trip to Paris — for eight days! It doesn’t matter that you only know one of the girls on the trip, you’ll just bring along another friend to make sure you have someone you know is on the same vibe. One thing is for certain, you DEFINITELY want to go.
Now it’s time to present the idea to hubby, who’s always supportive and is the dad of the century — he’s great at handling all the dad duties and both kids are attached at his hip. That’s an easy “yes,” and he’ll make it happen. He encourages you to have fun!
Here comes the problem… “It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.” Thoughts trickled in of “AM I A BAD MOM” if I leave my kids for longer than I’ve ever left them? If I decide to have a little fun across the world? If I choose me the person, over me the mom for a week? Typically, this would stop me from some things, but this is the trip of a lifetime. The trip I’ve wanted since I was just a teen, with no thought of kids in mind, presented to me on a whim.
Listen, mom guilt is real. My husband could totally handle all things thrown his way. But as moms, we sometimes handle it all. We have a routine of going and doing and being… everything that everyone needs us to be. And for many of us, without pause. But guess what?
I TOOK THE TRIP! I had the time of my life. I made memories for ME, not just for my kids and my family. I love those memories that I get to make as a mom, but boy, was it special to make some for myself. And guess what else? All was well at home (maybe hubby got a little better of an understanding of a full day and week of mom life), and I made it back in one piece.
So, now it’s back to laundry and groceries and “please be quiet” and Band-Aids and a thousand “mama”s a day. But for eight magical days, it was lots of “Oui, merci” and feeding the inner me.
So, take the break, explore the place, and do whatever it is that brings you closer to YOU. And know that you’re still a good mom through it all.
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The timing of this post is perfect, as I’m leaving for a trip to Spain and France next week and am feeling SO guilty and selfish for leaving my husband and kids behind for so long! Thank you for the encouragement!
I can relate so well to the feeling of mom guilt, especially when it comes to traveling alone. I recently started traveling more for work and it’s been so hard to leave. I even canceled one trip at the last minute because I was extremely anxious about leaving my daughters two weekends in row. But I’ve found that the more I do it the less anxiety I have and the easier it gets. Especially because my girls are always just fine when I return. Thanks for sharing your experience and not only normalizing mom guilt, but giving reassurance that it’s okay for moms to take time for ourselves and do things that we enjoy.