My first blog about motherhood was in 2014. My oldest was headed to middle school, and I was lamenting about mood swings and conversations about sex. I reread that blog now, as I have one now in college, and my last headed there in the fall, and it feels foreign to me. As if someone else wrote it, and I’m on the other side reading it and laughing with the words, “You have no idea,” echoing in my head.
I’ve written blogs about snooping (I no longer fully agree with after some time) and shared perspectives on hitting reset as a mother — that I would go back and share a thousand times over. There have been comments telling me I’m a “bad mother and one day my kids will resent me,” and comments thanking me for my honesty because it’s nice to know we all go through it.
I gave up and I learned to say yes, and some days, I just survived. I even failed and lived to tell about it. I blogged through quarantine and college drop-offs and wondered who I’d be when they were gone. If I were to write the follow-up to that one, I’d tell you that much like all other transitions in motherhood, it is both beautiful and heartbreaking, and somehow in the midst of all the emotions, you find a new you and an unexpected normal in the next season.
There were times I wondered if I should share so much, but as someone who’s been writing it all down her entire life, how could I not share about the most defining time in my life? Motherhood changed me, broke me, and built me up all at the same time. It is the absolute best thing I will ever do, and the moments I get to look back on through words are priceless. I am forever grateful for the platform and that people actually took the time to listen.
Am I out of words to share? I honestly don’t know. Time will tell. I’ve got one still at home until August and a college freshman coming home for the summer, so who am I to say I’ve written about it all? As I look back on my motherhood blogging career, I realize there is a healthy balance of heavy and light. As someone who decided to write it all down, I feel like I should have some sage advice or final words of wisdom, but I don’t. Sometimes it will all be okay, and sometimes it won’t. The things you think are important will be a blip on the radar screen, and the things that seem like nothing will knock you down. All you can do is the best you can do, and don’t be afraid to document all of your kids’ craziness and yours for your friends, family, and a few strangers to see.