If you’re constantly thinking about your body, you’re not alone. Society’s constant messages about our weight seem impossible to avoid — no matter our size.
Many of us have distinct memories of relatively happy and carefree childhoods that were interrupted by messages from others that our larger bodies were not normal or unacceptable in some way.
It comes as no surprise, then, that the body positivity movement has exploded in recent years with the rise of image-focused social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok. The movement signified a rejection of a culture that promotes thinness, shifting to a culture where differences in body size are accepted and even celebrated.
Balancing body positivity with personal health
The overall intention of body positivity — a social movement that encourages acceptance of all bodies, regardless of size, skin color, gender, or physical ability — is indeed progress. However, there are reasons to care about your weight that go beyond your outward appearance.
It’s important to understand that losing weight to improve your health doesn’t mean you’re conforming to cultural beauty standards that promote thinness.
Also, you don’t need to have a “normal” weight or BMI to be healthy or feel good about your body. BMI is an imperfect measure of health because the BMI formula doesn’t distinguish between muscle, fat mass, bone density, or other factors. For example, tall people with high muscle mass may have a BMI that greatly overestimates their health risks.
On the other hand, there is a link between weight and health, and those with excess weight can experience serious health problems or be at risk of developing them.
Carrying significant excess weight is associated with health problems including diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, joint pain, more than a dozen types of cancer, and a reduced life expectancy.
For women who struggle with fertility, including those who experience complications from polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), the challenges of conceiving a baby while carrying excess weight can be magnified. Also, carrying excess weight increases the risk of experiencing complications during pregnancy.
Can you love your body and still want to lose weight?
Yes — it’s absolutely okay to want to lose weight while also loving and accepting all parts of yourself. Making decisions for your health are deeply personal, and there is no one “best choice” for every woman.
If you want to lose weight, one tip is to take a step back and reflect on your “why.” You may want to improve your health to be around for your kids longer. Or maybe extra weight separates you from activities you enjoy — like swimming in the open air, riding on a rollercoaster, or getting out on the sports field with your kids. Everyone’s “why” is different, and it can take time to uncover yours.
If your BMI is greater than 40, then you’re at the highest level of risk for developing a health problem. You may want to consider talking to experts about treatment options that could be a good fit for you.
Similarly, if weight impacts the quality of your everyday life — such as if you’re experiencing chronic joint pain, struggling to keep up with your kids, or putting off activities you enjoy — those are also good reasons to consider your treatment options.
There are health behaviors that are good for us at any size — such as being active, eating well, and improving the quality of your diet. Other health behaviors may include getting enough sleep and practicing self-compassion, particularly for your body and what it can do.
Willingness to make a meal plan and prepare more meals at home is a great start and will help with improving the quality of your diet and portion control. In terms of movement, focus on what your body can do today and meet yourself where you are. Increasing physical activity can start simply by tracking your steps to get a baseline and then increasing your step count by sitting less throughout the day.
It’s okay to ask for help
If weight is holding you back from living your best life, there are helpful tools beyond lifestyle changes.
How we think about weight is changing. The perception that significant excess weight is caused by a lack of willpower or a moral failure is simply untrue. There are many reasons people struggle with weight management that have nothing to do with their level of effort — such as chronic stress, sleep loss, genetic risk, injury or disability, and weight-promoting medications, to name a few.
READ: What to Consider With the Explosion of Weight-Loss Medications
Consider seeking professional help if you have tried everything to lose weight but are still struggling to shed even a few pounds. Or, if you have attempted many different diets and are able to lose weight but always gain it back plus a few extra pounds.
There are a lot of moms who shoulder responsibility for the people around them. However, it’s okay to seek support for yourself and your health. Give yourself permission to ask for help if you need it.
About the Author
Gretchen Ames, Ph. D., is a psychologist with the Bariatric Center at Mayo Clinic, which offers a weight management program that helps individuals through a nonjudgmental, compassionate, and customized approach. We tailor counseling and treatment plans to meet each person’s goals and everyday realities. If you would like to schedule a consultation with a specialist in our program, please contact us at (904) 929-9256.
