A few weekends ago, I pulled into a retreat center unsure of what exactly to expect — and even more unsure of what I needed from the time ahead of me. While I was already deeply familiar with the organization hosting the retreat, I was a stranger to the idea of going to a retreat that wasn’t based on professional development or very structured group activities.
As I threw my backpack on and started rolling my suitcase (yes, a suitcase for a two-night stay — judge me all you want) toward the retreat center, a volunteer ran out to me with open arms saying, “Welcome! Let me carry that for you!” Without either of us knowing it at the time, that volunteer’s words were the articulation of what I needed, and what I would receive, from my time there.
After spending any amount of time with the Haven Retreats team, you’ll learn that they are intentional, perceptive, and responsive to the needs of adoptive and foster parents and caregivers. From the very clear packing list sent ahead of time to the types of snacks and drinks they have available throughout the weekend, everything is done with the intention of removing burdens from the caregivers who are present. Because of that, the Haven team met my every need throughout the weekend before I knew the need existed.
There were licensed therapists available for group and individual therapeutic support. And between every session or activity, there were opportunities for us to treat ourselves. From a build-your-own bouquet flower bar to coffee mugs, encouraging stickers, and self-care eye masks, there was always something new to bring wellness and rest into focus. Always something that, without anyone verbalizing the words, spoke to me a version of “let me carry that for you.”
It was a weekend where, everywhere I went, there were snacks, drinks, caffeine, protein, water… just out for me to enjoy at my leisure without having to prepare anything, ask for anything, or make decisions for other people. There were dessert charcuterie boards and a bottle of my favorite wine. I was able to eat cookies and chips without being asked to share with tiny humans. In the common spaces, there were roars of laughter, hints of comforting conversations, and sometimes only the whispers of a gentle quiet that invited me onto a couch with my journal, a book, and a cup of coffee.
On Saturday, I rediscovered something I love and used to do all the time. I put my hiking hammock up between two trees, lay in it, and got lost in a book. In the hour or two of doing that, I was literally cocooned by the fabric of my hammock around me. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt held. The level of rest and ease that I experienced was only made better when after dinner that night, I walked into a room where there was a surprise optional private silent disco for the moms to enjoy. For hours that night, I danced and sang and just existed alongside other moms who are living a motherhood journey that shares truths with mine. I found rest, renewal, and uncovered reminders of who I am because of the decisions made by the Haven Team. Decisions that, without them even knowing, carried the words I heard on Friday all the way from my arrival to my departure…
“Let me carry that for you.”
More About Haven Retreats
A year and a half into her journey as a foster mom, feeling overwhelmed by the struggles inside her home and wanting to run away, Rebecca was faced with a decision to make: Quit foster care or figure out how to make it sustainable. She began to dream of a space where foster and adoptive parents could find true rest, receive therapy for themselves, spend time in quiet meditation, and eat really good food. The goal was holistic rest — body, mind, and spirit. Out of this dream, the nonprofit Haven Retreats (and even a new podcast!) was built, whose mission is to create sustainability for foster and adoptive families. Haven hosts therapeutic retreats and provides wrap-around services — house cleaning, babysitting, meals, therapy support, and more — for foster and adoptive caregivers throughout the year.
Data tells us that at least half of all foster families will close their homes within the first year of fostering. Haven is disrupting that cycle by stepping into the lives of families, providing support and giving care to those who care for foster and adoptive children. Because what Haven knows to be true is that by supporting the caregivers, the impact extends beyond the adults and provides direct stability to the children in the home. They bring their mission to life through the therapeutic retreats and wrap-around care they provide for the caregivers of foster and adoptive children.
READ: 5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Foster Mom
If you’re interested in an opportunity to get involved in the work they’re doing (or just like a good 5K!), consider registering for their Biscuits and Bubbles 5K & Fun Run in San Marco on April 12. Even if you don’t run, this event is a blast — breakfast biscuits, beer, mimosas, a bubble machine, a DJ, and more!
