This month, we have two moms dealing with two very different #momlife situations. One mom is struggling with loneliness and longs to connect with other moms, while the other finds herself super scattered and disorganized (hello, mom brain).
Q: How do you find mom friends and stay connected with them? I’m feeling pretty lonely. We are new to the area and finding a group has been hard. Most days I find myself all alone just watching shows while working around the house, and it is starting to bring me down. I’m social and used to work in the hospitality industry.
Dear Lonely Mom,
Being new to an area is tough, especially if you have come from a place where you knew many people and had your core circle of friends. Add in motherhood and being tied to another tiny human’s schedule makes the matter even worse. I wish I could say I’ve never been lonely myself, and I’ve lived here my entire adult life — but alas I have. I feel like loneliness comes and goes with the seasons of life. You have certain friends who stick around for the long haul, but you also have some “along-the-way friends.” I think the best way to meet new people who have the same schedule as you is to go to a moms’ group or playdate. Things are a little different right now with COVID, but they are happening! You can also join a gym. Find a gym that you feel comfortable with that has childcare and take classes. I met some of my closest mom friends at a stroller exercise class. I went my first day with a 2-year-old and a newborn, and I didn’t know a soul. I ended up sticking around for the next four years! Now that my kids are a bit older, and I don’t see my friends as much as when our kids were little and we planned our days around them playing and us visiting, I have to be more intentional with my communication. Even during COVID. Even if I have to write myself a note to call or text that friend. I promise you, it makes a difference.
More on making mom friends and how to keep the connection strong:
Desperately Seeking Mom Friends? You’re Not Alone
The 10 ComMOMdments of Solid Friendships
Dear New Mom: Motherhood Isn’t Always This Lonely
Love,
Another Sometimes Lonely Jacksonville Mom
Q: I am so scattered. I was not scattered pre-mom life. I did not need a planner to keep up with things. But now, I feel like I need one. Is it worth it to invest in an actual paper planner, or should I try to use the one on my phone? I love the idea of writing in a planner, but I can’t decide which one would fit me best. And I’m worried my planner will just become another annoying to-do that doesn’t get done.
Dear Scattered,
Welcome to the club! We’ve all been waiting for you! All joking aside, mom brain is REAL. Throw in a kid (or three), lack of sleep, multiple schedules, working, cooking, cleaning… I could go on and on. We are bound to forget things! I’m not one of the lucky ones who had it all together before motherhood, so I’ve always been one to use a planner. Mom life has made my forgetfulness even worse. I definitely understand your concern about the planner being another to-do list to check off, but I promise you, it’s worth it. I tried using my phone calendar, and it just didn’t work for me. I kept forgetting things, or I’d forget to set an alarm for something important. I feel like the act of actually taking a few minutes each week to write everything down for the family helps. I also add things mid-week as my kids come home from school. When purchasing a planner, think of your family’s specific needs. Do you need a large space to write? Do you need a weekly planner or a monthly planner? Do you want a notes section? Size also matters. I like mine to be able to fit into my purse, so it’s always with me. Last year, I spent a fortune on a planner that was so heavy. I regretted it all year long and ended up tearing out the extra pages that I paid for that I didn’t really need. I’ve found that the planners with a monthly spread, and then a week-by-week section behind the month, is perfect for me. I put my entire family’s schedule on the monthly spread, and I do my to-do list and other notes in the weekly section, on the actual day I will be doing it. Some people get fancy with different colored pens, but that just overwhelms me. I use whatever is nearby to write with and use white-out tape as needed. I hope you find a method that works for you and helps alleviate your stress!
More on how some moms have tackled the scattered monster:
How to Organize Like a Mother
6 Great Organizational Planners & Apps for Parents
Love,
A Fellow Forgetful Jacksonville Mom
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Not Asking for a Friend
Need advice? Got a tough (or even not-so-tough) question you don't want to ask a family member or Facebook group? Because let's be real here, you're not asking for a friend — you're asking for yourself. We're not therapists or experts by any means, but we are moms from a wide variety of backgrounds, and collectively, we've seen and been through a lot. Use the form below to submit your question, and you might see it answered right here on Jacksonville Mom.
